Lettuce Spray
Talking to God on the big white telephone.
Well actually I didnt make it that far but I was on my knees saying 'oh god'.
Recovering from a tummy bug I couldnt keep anything solid down but after a several days laid up I figured it was safe to go out, providing I didnt eat anything.
However my stomach was rumbling in hunger and on arriving at a friends party I started to pick at the lettuce garnish on the buffet.
I didnt dare try anything more substantial and figured lettuce was a safe bet.
A glass of water, more lettuce, more water, boy I was hungry.
More lettuce and then more.
Then there was no more lettuce and I went into the garden for a smoke.
The gurgles started and I had that moment of fear about which end was going to explode first.
I made a dash for the house and didnt make it.
Apparently the highlight of the night was myself on my knees projectile vomiting green slime several feet in front of me.
A crowd gathered to watch and I do vaguely remember a round of applause.
And someone asking when my head was going to start revolving.
Well at least it was easier than throwing up undigested chips (fries)
They hurt coming up and your mouth fills with carbo sludge and you have to hack them up and out.
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Fri 8 Jan 2010, 22:57, Reply)