Back in the early 80s
before I learned that you get nothing for nothing, a friend and I were in London for an anti-aparteid march. However rather than wasting our time demonstrating against a backward and barbaric regime we thought we'd just nip down to Soho ... see what all the fuss was about.

After an hour or so trawling sex shops we decided to up the ante and visit a "topless bar". Obviously our yokeldom led us to believe that it was just like a normal pub except all the birds went around with their norks out. What's not to enjoy ?

We were soon disabused of that idea though. As soon as we got in a large gentleman showed us to (separate) booths where we were soon joined by our respective hostesses who of course invited us to buy them a drink. Said drink cost me £20 which for an 18 year old student in 1982(ish) was pretty damn salty. However I coughed up and was the recipient of a quick genital rub for my investment (and when I say quick, I mean about 10 seconds.)

When it came to light that there was no more money left in the coffers we were summarily escorted from the premises some £30 each lighter and with fuck all money left to last us the next day and a half.
( Ramsay Tupper, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 13:34, Reply)