my novel
how many "chapter one"s do i have on my computer?

a lot. that's how many.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 10:17, 20 replies)

Just connect them all together with weak spurious links
it worked for "The Cloud Atlas", and that won the man booker prize and was a Richard & Judy book of the week (according to the cover).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 10:20, closed)

Who cares...
...if it doesn't make sense. Worked for "The Atrocity Exhibition".
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Sat 5 Dec 2009, 10:39, closed)

.
I hear you.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 10:28, closed)

I'm with you on that
Not forgetting Scene 1 of the screenplay, of course.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Fri 4 Dec 2009, 10:29, closed)

My cheeks are glowing with shame...
at the number of screenplays / plays etc etc that I have sitting in my hard drive that I can't face any more.
(sugar_tits, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 10:39, closed)

.
I think the secret is just to not mind writing something a bit shit. because i often read something from waterstones and think "thats a bit cliched and shit. It seems to have sold several hundred thousand copies".
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 10:29, closed)

i read some wise words somewhere
that said the difference between a published writer and anyone else is finishing the book.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 11:07, closed)

I actually finished a screenplay not many moons ago - now I'm too lazy to shop it around.
That's taking laziness and failure to a whole new level.
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 11:14, closed)

.
You know that agents ask for "3 chapters and a synopsis". do you think they expect you to have finished the rest of the book? Or just 3 chapters?
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 12:35, closed)

i think they'd want it to be finished
if they ever asked for it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 14:03, closed)

I think
they only ask for a few chapters from already publish authors. If you are unpublished, they usually require a whole book.

They probably realise that there are many, many of us with a few chapters and no more substance to finish the book. I have about 30 here - all of which will be finished *one day*!
(dchurch bah, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 14:14, closed)

Bind the lot together
Think of some spurious christian conspiracy theory for the title.

Pay Dan Brown (IN LARGE FONTS) to have his name on the front for a one word review.

Viola....
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 10:45, closed)

Apparently everyone has a novel in them
I mentioned this to a publisher friend once, and she said "Yes. But most of them are shit".
(Simian Typewriter Supplies Pty. Ltd. is house hunting in the neighborhood of infinity, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 10:56, closed)

sounds painful

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 11:04, closed)

Did you start counting them
and then give up?

Anyway apparently the best way to do it is, rather than starting with chapter 1 and keeping going, to start by doing a short summary of the story. Then write it again, with a bit more detail. Then with a bit more, and so on until you're writing it out as it will be in the finished novel.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 11:23, closed)

That sounds like a good piece of advice.
I never would have thought of it.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 13:14, closed)

"What's that? You're writing a novel? Oh - neither am I." - Peter Cook

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 13:16, closed)

Me too
I got all the way to the end of the first draft of the novel only to realise that although the later chapters were so engaging and exciting that I actually enjoyed reading them, the all important first three were as boring as a shopping list and I needed to rewrite them.

That was years ago. I am still trying. Trouble is, all those new chapter ones just won't fit with the rest of the novel.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 14:06, closed)

I managed to finish a novel
Called "Zombie Lesbian Flesh Eaters". Now no agent is interested. Can't think why.
(McChinaman banned, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 11:22, closed)

i'd buy that
for a dollar
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 22:44, closed)