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Anybody from Teesside?
If so, did you go to music live? Twas an alright day, especially [accident] as it's free to hear the bands and the only time you can safely drink on the street pentalty-free!

Also, what did you guys think of The Modern? I loved them, and Ocean Colour Scene. Not forgetting Oxfam Glamour Models; they rock!


And, if nobody's from the area, then you're gonna be confused. My hangover is pretty bad!


How is everybody?
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:38, archived)
Good to see you're looking after yourself now you're up the duff.

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:40, archived)
It was only alcohol!
Not going to kill the baby or anything!

Anyway, I'm hungover after drinking less BECAUSE of it.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:41, archived)
You are not pregnant.

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:42, archived)
Ok then.
???? *what the fuck?*
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)
Well ... there are two alternatives:
a) you are not pregnant and making up silly stories to make yourself more interesting
b) you are pregnant and a tragic fool who hasn't spoken to any health professionals or friends and family about your pregnancy

I thought (a) was a slightly kinder assumption.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)
Health professionals, yes
Family, no, seeing as I haven't seen them in fuck knows how long
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:48, archived)
Now I think you're just lying.
You were barking on about moving out of your parental house on here only a few weeks ago, and one of the first things a health professional would have told you was not to get pissed.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:50, archived)
Excuse me?
I lived in Portsmouth before Middlesbrough and before that, yes, my parents house. Before that (and I'm talking a year or two back now) I was living with my ex. So what you on about with a few weeks ago?!

And the health professionals told me I could drink a minor amount. Something like 4 units a week max
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:52, archived)
I'm still betting on (a)
but if it's (b) then you are (as everybody else has pointed out) a daft fuck and need to actually listen to what the health professionals are telling you.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:55, archived)
Not all in one go
you idiot. And you'd need to drink at least four units in one go to get drunk - I suspect your priorities are way out of line. If you can't go without a drink for 9 months then I suspect the sacrifices attendant on motherhood may be too much for you.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:57, archived)
I don't know any health professional
that would recommend four units a week. two maybe. and usually only red wine, for slightly elevated blood pressure.

for reasons I'm not going into on here this silly bint's attitude is making me very angry and not a little upset. grr.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:01, archived)
It's mostly for effect
Come and prance about moaning about tattoos instead :)

*hug*
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:04, archived)
I think that was someone else actually
(the parental house one)
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:55, archived)
Possibly.
But she's changed her username recently and I'm pretty sure she was talking about moving flat.

I really should revise my b3ta/talk life histories more carefully.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:01, archived)

. now
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)
I think you'll find that
alcohol, can in fact kill your baby. see: multiple jokes about gin.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)
Why did the gin cross the road?
To kill babies.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:45, archived)
A baby walks into a bar,
and drinks some gin and dies.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)
what did the baby say to the gin?

Nothing, it drank it and died.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:50, archived)
How many bottles of gin can you fit up a dead baby's cunt?

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)
I don't know
but I'll have the answer to you by five o'clock.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:52, archived)
a english baby, an irish baby, and a scottish baby,
they all drank gin and died
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two - one to change the lightbulb, one to drink gin and die. In agony.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)
Is the thinking here
"It's a Middlesbrough baby so it won't be any more retarded if I drink lots?"
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)
White Lightning is a primary food group in Middlesborough

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:44, archived)
White Lightening
and white cider in general disgusts me.

And people have got Middlesbrough all wrong. That's like saying London's retarded. I know it IS, but there's some of the odd few.

I don't drink that much anyway, for the record.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:50, archived)

drink think
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)
You've got Middlesborough wrong,
you can't spell it.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:52, archived)
Fuck off.
People like you need shooting. We're not like Scarborough, or Guisborough. Look www.middlesbrough.gov.uk
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:54, archived)
edit: oh, I've bollocksed this big.
Still. You're an idiot.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:55, archived)
ARF!
silly rnuk.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:59, archived)
just enough to get a hangover
i don't think i want to talk to a silly lttle girl anymore
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:54, archived)
I think you're winding us up
because you know we'll bite. On the offchance you're not: "Foetal Alcohol Syndrome is the biggest cause of non-genetic mental handicap in the western world and the only one that is 100% preventable."
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)
(can't go to the page - bloody libraries)
And that's repetitive drinking, isn't it? (Like I said, can't access page)
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:45, archived)
jesus h christ woman, how old are you?
Just don't drink at all, you soft tart.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)
ARE YOU THICK?
Go and speak to a medical professional before you do any damage you silly little girl.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)
So you got pissed last week and again yesterday.
re·pet·i·tive ( P ) Pronunciation Key (r-pt-tv)
adj.
Given to or characterized by repetition.

rep·e·ti·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp-tshn)
n.
The act or process or an instance of repeating or being repeated.
A recitation or recital, especially of prepared or memorized material.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:47, archived)
no.
and no.

and I really can't believe you didn't know that
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:47, archived)
Dearie me
alcoholism.about.com/cs/preg/a/blacer040316.htm
www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/681_1170.asp
or just fucking Google it.

Which bit of pumping alcohol around a foetus strikes you as mostly harmless?
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:48, archived)
and:
Causing a child to suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome is really nothing short of child abuse and it lasts for life.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:45, archived)
I would posit
that FAS is more damaging than neo-natal heroin withdrawal.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:47, archived)
and can also cause smaller heads
poor coordination, short memories, smaller heads, smaller heads and short memories.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:48, archived)
i think you forgot
smaller heads
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)
what about them?

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:53, archived)
i can't rememeber

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:56, archived)
care for a drink?

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:00, archived)
only if it's gin


with a dead baby float
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:02, archived)
well i think youre all over reacting
my mum drank when she was pregnant and im abolutely ornate pasty whitebread fish.

so there.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:48, archived)
you can drink
where drink = the odd glass of (ideally) red wine

and the odd = not more than one a week or so.

but getting drunk is soooo stupidly dangerous for a foetus
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:51, archived)
yea
im pretty much in agreement with Dr Shambolic

either shes lying about being pregnant (morally wrong)

Or being so ignorant it beggers belief
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:53, archived)
Are you not pregnant?

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:40, archived)
I'm sorry. I simply can't read the rest of that until you change "specially" to "especially"

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:40, archived)
Hoist!

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:40, archived)
Pull!

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:42, archived)
Chance'd be a fine thing!

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:53, archived)
whatever do you mean?
*whistles*
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)
Dirty dirty ninja
;)
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:44, archived)
If you are getting pissed while pregnant then you're a prick.

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:40, archived)
Only the poor live in Teeside.
Shouldn't you be out defrauding us taxpayers in new and inventive ways?
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:41, archived)
I am not poor!
But I wasn't born here...
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:52, archived)
Ocean Colour Scene
are shit, have always been shit, and always will be shit.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:41, archived)
Oh good fucking gracious me this and a half.

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:43, archived)
I rather enjoy OCS
But oh well. We can't all have the same musical tastes.

/listenstodarkness
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)
what happened to
cyber music?
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:41, archived)
I like ANYTHING
musically. Well, nearly.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:42, archived)
so why did you
mention cyber music before?
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:44, archived)

musically sexually
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:45, archived)
i like the sound of Oxfam Glamour Models
i don't really like OCS

ooh yeah you are an utter prick for drinking when pregnant, how far are you?


read this idiot:
www.aerc.org.uk/documents/pdf/insights/Insert08.pdf
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:42, archived)
Bout a month

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:46, archived)
Ok, so now you are officially daft
Next thing you will be saying you smoke as well.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:49, archived)
WOOHOO
I drink to excess and smoke! Rock and roll!

I can, however, also manage my own fertility ;)
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:55, archived)
In the same way that Holland manages its risk of avalanches.

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:57, archived)
Cruel

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:58, archived)
Kissy kissy.

(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 12:01, archived)
About a month?
So your period may just be a bit late?
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:53, archived)
No
I know for a fact I am. I'm not going to go into that.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:56, archived)
You're really something else
Perhaps a mong.
(, Mon 19 Jun 2006, 11:50, archived)