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Profile for Zuowan:
Profile Info:

Hello. You're looking at my profile.
I'm the one who lives in China and ate a dog. Hi.



Last Night A DJ Killed My Dog

"Food Tube"

Evil Edna Films

My Last.fm profile


I will be buying this island and declaring independence with myself as president King.
The following ministerial positions have been claimed:

Minister for Trifle Making - Whythebigpaws?
Minister of Gentlemanly Conduct - rnuk
Chancellor and Minister in Charge of Loud Music - SuperMatt
Head of Foreign Office - Mykeyboy
Official State Chippie - Glued Eel
Minister of Shiny Things and Cakes (Excluding Trifles) - Wicca'd Witch
Education Secretary - The Teviot Moose
Minister for Misinformation - Brainiac
Minister of Transport - Stevierar
Minister of Laziness and Tea - Sleepybinky
Minister for Cocking Things Up and Generally Being Useless - Aardvark
Minister for Cold Drinks and Savoury Foods - Gizmo.Mp3
Minister of Defense Fucking People Up - Fenris
Minister of Beards - rhcpaul
Minister for Warm Beer and Gnomes - Lord Gnome
Minister for Science - the mighty badger
Minister for Music c.r.a.p. - Enigmatic
Official Chef to his Highness LNADJKMD - Spider Riviera


Greatest festival in history





Recent front page messages:

Conspiracy theory of the day

(Sun 24th Aug 2008, 16:15, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Heckles

Re: Daphne & Celeste at Reading
I see somebody is already on about this. Let me just give my perspective on events. I was in the audience that day, fairly appalled. They were the best thing on in a schedule of relentless nu-metal dirge and the people throwing bottles were stupid little metal kids with little or no clue that they were bottling off the only even vaguely subversive act on the bill. I was backstage just before the infamous signing session and met them as they were going into the tent - two bewildered sweet and harmless girls who had just been covered in piss and rubbish because some self-styled "alternative" kids couldn't take ten minutes of music outside their conservative little box.
Then I saw them get the same treatment again, only at close range this time.

To all the participants: you are a shower of cunts.
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 10:02, More)

» Sexual fetishes

I'm currently dating a girl who can't get wet unless I lie about my sexual exploits on internet forums.

(Thu 22nd Oct 2009, 13:59, More)

» Petty Sabotage

When I was in student halls, back in the nineties,
I bought about fifty blocks of clothes dye and went round putting them in every toilet cistern, so that every toilet flushed in a different colour.
No idea why, just boredom I think.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 13:46, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

I set up a joke profile for Ian Huntley on Facebook.
That was a fairly eventful day.
(Thu 11th Sep 2008, 15:23, More)

» My most gullible moment

I told my sister that in continental Europe in addition to toblerone you can buy toblertwo and toblerthree.
She believed this until she was about 18.
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 14:26, More)
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