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Profile for Butters:
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Welcome to my profile. Come freely, go safely and leave something of the happiness you bring.

Twistosterone or Vimeo is where I'm at these days.




Want to contact me?
ross AT twistosterone DOT com

Recent front page messages:

bee's knees


stuff

(Mon 14th Jul 2014, 23:04, More)

open your mind

more animations

(Tue 20th May 2014, 17:04, More)

The Queen's Anus Horribilis

stuff

(Mon 4th Mar 2013, 2:18, More)

Terry Christmas!


stuff

(Thu 6th Dec 2012, 23:38, More)

Mass-produced crap!

(Rolling out this one from last year! :D )
stuff
(Thu 6th Dec 2012, 15:57, More)

Kaboomphlurrrrph!!

my stuff

(Tue 29th May 2012, 23:23, More)

Elastic Pants

It would be better with sound, wouldn't it?

(Thu 29th Sep 2011, 10:56, More)

Joobies!

Stuff
EDIT: Now FP friendly :D
(Sun 4th Sep 2011, 0:33, More)

If you want a picture of the future,
imagine a boot stamping on a human face ? forever.

stuff

(Thu 11th Aug 2011, 6:33, More)

Decanting...

Youtubey with musics


More?
(Fri 22nd Apr 2011, 10:09, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Things to do before you die

i want to set fire to a bear - just to see what it sounds like
i want to shave a mohawk into my grandmother

i want to ride a bicycle made of pork through the streets of rome

i want to grow a handlebar moustache and dangle maraccas from it

i want to shoot heroin underwater

i want a brain in a jar i can read Dan Brown novels to.

i want an extensive collection of rare udders

i want to lubricate a church with marmite
(Thu 14th Oct 2010, 17:32, More)

» My first experience of porn

Aged 7
Me and my younger brother looking for a misplaced Toy Story video, finally thought to go up to my parents bedroom.

Lo and behold, there was a video in the tape player. Is it Toy Story? Dunno. We pressed eject. No label. Oh right. Put it back in... press play.

It wasn't Toy Story.

The image is forever engraved in my mind.

To make it worse. What did we do first?

"Mum...?"
(Thu 25th Jan 2007, 16:40, More)

» Encounters with Royalty

I once bought the Queen off eBay.
I bid 20.31 at the last minute and arranged for me to pick her up from the owners house.
So I drove down to london to a pokey east-end flat. I found the guy's door and knocked. He asked me through the letterbox who I was. I replied that I was Ross and had recently purchased the Queen.
The chap then unbolted the door. and lead me inside. He took the Queen out of the cupboard and handed her over, assuring me that she was now my property and he had no legal responsibility over her.

So I took her home and things went OK for a while. We would have tea and biscuits every afternoon and I would occasionally take the bag off her head so she could make pretend speeches. Oh the fun we had.
I used to take her on long walks in the countryside and we'd have a great time. She would tire often but I would always stop and wait for her to catch her breath again.

Then one day I thought it was safe to let her off her leash. She instantly made a break for it. I tried to catch her but tripped over a rock.

I never saw her again.

Disclaimer: Event may truly be based upon fiction.
(Fri 4th Aug 2006, 20:03, More)

» Churches, temples and holy places

"Does God Exist?
◘ Yes
◘ No
◘ Maybe"

...read a huge banner outside our nearest community church. I walked past it a few times, the large, empty tick boxes almost beckoning me.

So, a couple of days after the sign appeared, on the way back from a heavy drinking session in town, me and my intoxicated accomplices got hold of some black paint, stole a ladder from a building site and scaled the church wall at 4am - only witnessed by a few blurry-eyed drunks wandering past - and left a giant black tick in the "No" box.

Everything went to plan. Took about a week before they painted over it again.
(Thu 1st Sep 2011, 17:15, More)

» Blood

On a camping trip I can now barely remember...
I woke in the night with my hand in something cold and sticky on the floor of the tent. On closer inspection it was blood. Then I noticed my sister was missing. My brother was still there, but my sister had disappeared and been replaced by a puddle of blood. I went to tell my parents. They too had vanished.

I woke up my brother and, being little boys, together we silently panicked, incase a psycho was listening in nearby.

Then out of nowhere a car pulled up. The headlights beamed onto the tent. This was it. Whoever had taken the rest of our family had come back for us.

The lights went out. We could hear the footsteps approaching the tent. We were on the verge of screaming... but were too considerate for other campers.

Turned out it was just my mum. My sister had suddenly had a really bad nosebleed overnight and they'd rushed her to hospital, thinking we'd sleep right through.
(Fri 8th Aug 2008, 10:49, More)
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