Some tie-ins are destined to fail

(Tue 23rd May 2006, 22:30, More)

» Heckles

Went to see
"funny man" paul foot once. After about an hour of him seriously dying on his arse, someone at the front got up.
Paul Foot: "Where are you going?"
Bloke: "I thought I'd go for a piss before the comedian came on."
(Thu 6th Apr 2006, 19:40, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

oh man
ive got a million of these. i work for social services. visiting one old woman, she insisted she told us about her deceased constipated husband
'i used to help him go by digging it out with a spoon... but i kept the spoon separate from the others'
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 17:47, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

ive got a cigarette butt
that once belonged to jeremy paxman, that i stole when i was on university challenge. he smokes silk cut, the poof
(Sat 6th Nov 2004, 19:07, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

when i was a kid (back in the eighties)
my sister told me that tracy chapman was a man. i believed this until a couple of years back when she brought out her greatest hits album.
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 17:49, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

sat in the pub
the other day when i realised there were more married people around the table than there were single.
it was also a bit of a shock when i became older than all the kids on grange hill. and then eventually most of the teachers
... oh and my my mates new boyfriend (who is 19) dosent know who jimmy saville is
.... fuck me, reading the rest of these is making me feel even worse...
(Thu 28th Oct 2004, 19:55, More)