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(Sat 30th Oct 2004, 1:39, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Stuff You've Overheard

In another queue, this time I think it was McDonalds or something,
anyway, there is the typical charva family in front of me, a fourteen year old girl with her child in a Burberry decorated buggy (I'm not joking) and the 16 year old father.

The chav mother says something to the father of her child but it was mumbled.

Chav father says "What was that Spunktrench?"
and she answers (as if being called spunktrench is completely normal) "I just said, I think Courtney's shit herself again".
(Wed 9th Jun 2004, 23:52, More)

» Best Comebacks

This isn't strictly one of mine
I think a mate told me about it but I might be wrong...

Basically he was getting abuse from a stupid chav/charver at a Metro station so he told the charver to "fuck off" the charver puffs out his chest and says "Here! d'yee naa who me dad is?" in a my dad is a dangerous criminal kind of way to which he replies "No. Do you?"
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 15:53, More)

» Worst Record Ever

Definately DJ Otzi
"Hey Baby" mostly because I live in Newcastle next to the "party centre" that is the infamous Bigg Market, drunken idiots walk past my block on their way home or to buy a kebab or whatever and every sodding time some fool starts singing it... and then all the other knuckle-dragging buffoons join in! It really begins to grate on me, I worry for my sanity.

And while I'm on the subject quoting "Bo Selecta" i.e. walking past my flat whilst
shouting at the top of your voice
"EEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEE SHAMBO" is
neither big nor clever. It's old, it's
annoying, it's crap. Just stop it.

AND as I live next to the local newspaper,
everyone thinks it's funny to impersonate
a newspaper seller when they see the entrance
to the offices.

*rocks back and forth*

EDIT: Sorry, I went off on one there :)
(Tue 2nd Dec 2003, 18:05, More)

» Best Comebacks

I was on my way to the town for drinkies one day
when this chav/charver lass shouted "HOW! ARE YEEE GAY?"* to which I responded "If all women looked like you I'd seriously consider it"



*Translation: "OI, ARE YOU GAY"
(Thu 29th Apr 2004, 15:10, More)

» Stuff You've Overheard

I was once in the queue at a games shop
I think it was Electronics Boutique, Anyway there was a Mother and Son charva in the queue in front of me, the son was taller than me (over 6'2") and heavily built. He was also VERY loud, the conversation went like this...

Mother Charva: *mumble* *mumble*
Charva Son: AYE BUT CHRIS JERICHO DIDN'T 'ALF KICK HIS HEAD IN MAM, HE USED "THE WALLS OF JERICHO" ON 'IM AND THAT WAS THAT.

The conversation faded as they got served at the counter (no doubt for a wrestling game) and I made my purchase. On the way out they were outside the shop and seemed to be in a heated argument, as I left to go back to work I heard (even louder than he was before if that is possible)

Charva Son: NAH MAM! STEPHANIE MCMAHON STEPPED INTO THE RING. IF YOU GAN IN THE RING YOU GET EVERYTHING YOU DESERVE.

These people are our future.
(Wed 9th Jun 2004, 23:47, More)
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