Elvis suxsI am currently working in a very dull government office in Wellington, NZ. In the toilets on the 11th floor someone has written 'Elvis suxs' on the wall. The thing that puzzles me is that the offices are not open to the public, and were only re-decorated a few years ago, which means that the message has to have been written there by one of the staff. I spend my days glancing around the office suspciously trying to fathom which of my co-workers harbours a festering hatred of The King strong enough to make them deface the toilet wall. The recent revival of interest in Presley's songs has granted me the opportunity to mention him in casual conversation around the coffee machine, but none of my probing has provoked the kind of furious reaction I would expect from the culprit. This is how I imagine the conversation would go when I found the man responsible:
Me: Morning. Getting a coffee there I see. Hey, by the way, I just heard that 'new' Elvis song on the radio this morning, but i'm not sure what to make of it just yet. What do you think of it?
Culprit: Elvis? Would it suprise you to know that I am a cell leader for an underground militia set on denouncing the life and works of Elvis. We have operatives in New York, Cairo and Peru set to deface The Statue of Liberty, The Great Pyramid and Machu Picchu respectively with huge slogans which will reveal the true nature of Elvis's work and start the demise of Rock and Roll as we know it. And me? Well it was I, yes I who wrote 'Elvis suxs' in biro on the toilet wall!
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Mon 3 Nov 2003, 20:42,
archived)
Me: Morning. Getting a coffee there I see. Hey, by the way, I just heard that 'new' Elvis song on the radio this morning, but i'm not sure what to make of it just yet. What do you think of it?
Culprit: Elvis? Would it suprise you to know that I am a cell leader for an underground militia set on denouncing the life and works of Elvis. We have operatives in New York, Cairo and Peru set to deface The Statue of Liberty, The Great Pyramid and Machu Picchu respectively with huge slogans which will reveal the true nature of Elvis's work and start the demise of Rock and Roll as we know it. And me? Well it was I, yes I who wrote 'Elvis suxs' in biro on the toilet wall!