I lived in the halls last year,and as I'm a computing student I got a phone line fitted for internet access. This made me the only person in the flat with access to the net so when people wanted on the net I'd let them.
This was a bad idea with one flat mate in particular. This guy only went to class for the first month or so and then just sat around the flat all day until finally moving out at Christmas. During the day he kept himself 'occupied' with a rather large, hardcore, (we're talking dwarves here,) porn collection which he would leave liberally scattered around the kitchen/lounge area.
Well one day he asked if he coud use the net while I was at college so I said yes as long as I didn't let anyone else in while I was out.
When I got back my mouse and keyboard were very sticky and there was 'condensed milk' everywhere. It had to be condensed milk because I had to lift the mouse and keyboard to bin them and then clean my desk and to be honest I don't want to consider what else it could have been.
Another guy is a furry. Over the summer when I was backing up my machine I found a folder full of hardcore furry porn. Lovely.
Then there was the guy who ate nothing but pizza for 6 months, at which point he changed to boiled pasta with ketchup. There was one incident when he was drunk that he tried to climb out his bedroom window, along the exterior window sills and in the kitchen window. We lived four floors up. This guy also never showered. Ever.
Then there was the guy who kept bringing his girlfriend back. I could never look at her and keep a strange face so I'm sure she thinks I'm some sort of grinning imbecile.
At one point last year my lovely flatmates thought it would be clever to play darts with the kitchen knives. MY kitchen knives. Suffice to say the handles were broken afterwards.
My microwave also got used to cook CD's and eggs at one point, leaving me to clean it.
My food also kept getting eaten all the time. Don't know who by but it would just vanish. I did eventually discover that the reason I was unable to keep eggs in the fridge for more than a few hours is that they would be thrown out the window at passing neds.
I fecking hated the halls.
(This was a bad idea with one flat mate in particular. This guy only went to class for the first month or so and then just sat around the flat all day until finally moving out at Christmas. During the day he kept himself 'occupied' with a rather large, hardcore, (we're talking dwarves here,) porn collection which he would leave liberally scattered around the kitchen/lounge area.
Well one day he asked if he coud use the net while I was at college so I said yes as long as I didn't let anyone else in while I was out.
When I got back my mouse and keyboard were very sticky and there was 'condensed milk' everywhere. It had to be condensed milk because I had to lift the mouse and keyboard to bin them and then clean my desk and to be honest I don't want to consider what else it could have been.
Another guy is a furry. Over the summer when I was backing up my machine I found a folder full of hardcore furry porn. Lovely.
Then there was the guy who ate nothing but pizza for 6 months, at which point he changed to boiled pasta with ketchup. There was one incident when he was drunk that he tried to climb out his bedroom window, along the exterior window sills and in the kitchen window. We lived four floors up. This guy also never showered. Ever.
Then there was the guy who kept bringing his girlfriend back. I could never look at her and keep a strange face so I'm sure she thinks I'm some sort of grinning imbecile.
At one point last year my lovely flatmates thought it would be clever to play darts with the kitchen knives. MY kitchen knives. Suffice to say the handles were broken afterwards.
My microwave also got used to cook CD's and eggs at one point, leaving me to clean it.
My food also kept getting eaten all the time. Don't know who by but it would just vanish. I did eventually discover that the reason I was unable to keep eggs in the fridge for more than a few hours is that they would be thrown out the window at passing neds.
I fecking hated the halls.
Gordon.,
Tue 18 Nov 2003, 12:23,
archived)
ah, the good old days......of student halls. i reckon there's definitely an art to it. either you can cope or you can't get out quick enough. the best strategy is to nail down all valuables and leave nothing lying around in public areas worth more than a pint of milk.
one of my mates from home used to complain that his flatmates used to eat his steaks. i mean christ - i'd eat steak if i found it in the fridge! when i was at college i survived on a diet of basmati rice (classy, see) and lea & perrins sauce. tabasco too if i was feeling exotic.
no particularly horrific flatmate stories though. although a friend of mine did get home one day to find that his house'mates' had broken into his room and shat on the only copy of his handwritten dissertation. nice.
needless to say, he moved out and the room was sealed up forever!
(,
Tue 18 Nov 2003, 13:20,
archived)
one of my mates from home used to complain that his flatmates used to eat his steaks. i mean christ - i'd eat steak if i found it in the fridge! when i was at college i survived on a diet of basmati rice (classy, see) and lea & perrins sauce. tabasco too if i was feeling exotic.
no particularly horrific flatmate stories though. although a friend of mine did get home one day to find that his house'mates' had broken into his room and shat on the only copy of his handwritten dissertation. nice.
needless to say, he moved out and the room was sealed up forever!