Ok, my turn, NZ perspectiveOne of my ex-girlfriends had two flatmates who - and I shall not elaborate more than this - installed large eye bolts in their lounge floor and ceiling to chain each other to for their sexual pleasure....
Next up my first housemate from hell was the true blonde. She was a friend of my girlfriend at the time (now Mrs K3rry) and had just moved in when I did. Actually to say she was a blonde was an understatement. She was F.U.C.K.I.N.G thick! She was hopelessly in love with someone we all worked with (being that we all worked at the same place), but he didn’t want her, so she consoled herself by sleeping with anyone and anything. I remember one night at a party she was screwing a guy and half way through was sick all down his back. To his credit he still managed to finish so the next morning it was yet another trip down the doctors so she could get the 'morning after pill'.
Then she tried to impress the love of her life by going to his place while he was at work and taking his dog for a walk. This usually involved bringing it back to our place and putting it out the back while she watched TV. We had a big dog (to which she developed an unhealthy interest in it's penis - to the point of feeling it several times) so the fence was not little dog secure. Naturally *****'s dog would go through the fence and just vanish off down the road. I would then get a call at work 'I've lost the dog again, can you come home and help me find it - and don't tell *****'. My answer - 'No' and then I would tell ***** she lost his dog again.
Her 'piece de resistance' however was the one and only time she cooked. She decided one evening to make spaghetti bolognaise. She boiled the water, put the spaghetti in and when it was cooked took a colander, stood in the middle of the kitchen, and tipped the whole lot in. SPLOSH.
That is all
(Next up my first housemate from hell was the true blonde. She was a friend of my girlfriend at the time (now Mrs K3rry) and had just moved in when I did. Actually to say she was a blonde was an understatement. She was F.U.C.K.I.N.G thick! She was hopelessly in love with someone we all worked with (being that we all worked at the same place), but he didn’t want her, so she consoled herself by sleeping with anyone and anything. I remember one night at a party she was screwing a guy and half way through was sick all down his back. To his credit he still managed to finish so the next morning it was yet another trip down the doctors so she could get the 'morning after pill'.
Then she tried to impress the love of her life by going to his place while he was at work and taking his dog for a walk. This usually involved bringing it back to our place and putting it out the back while she watched TV. We had a big dog (to which she developed an unhealthy interest in it's penis - to the point of feeling it several times) so the fence was not little dog secure. Naturally *****'s dog would go through the fence and just vanish off down the road. I would then get a call at work 'I've lost the dog again, can you come home and help me find it - and don't tell *****'. My answer - 'No' and then I would tell ***** she lost his dog again.
Her 'piece de resistance' however was the one and only time she cooked. She decided one evening to make spaghetti bolognaise. She boiled the water, put the spaghetti in and when it was cooked took a colander, stood in the middle of the kitchen, and tipped the whole lot in. SPLOSH.
That is all
K3rry,
Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:52,
archived)