House of horrorI'm now in the second year of uni, living out in a nice house with 2 other blokes. They're quite pleasant, one never throws anything away, so the kitchen is currently full of yoghurt pots and soup cans from his meals over the past few days. We also suspect he waxes some part of his anatomy, as we found Veet ready-to-use wax strips in the bathroom. He also has poor aim round the loo. All this is practically heaven compared to my first year...
In my university, the halls in my college were organised into houses of 10 people, all sharing kitchen etc. Of these, 5 of us were normal.
1. Psycho girl
One girl broke up with her boyfriend from the first term at Christmas. It all seemed amicable, they'd just decided they didn't want to stay together. She seemed to have some problems letting go though.
He kept coming round the house post break-up, having made friends with other peole in the house. She began to flip out every time she saw him in the house. She would shout and throw stuff (biscuits, glasses, wet floor signs, carpet sweepers) at him, and slam doors. A lot. She then began to accuse another girl in the house (with a long-term boyfriend elsewhere) of 'stealing' her ex from her, and accusing them of doing all manner of things. Every time she walked into a room where either one of them was, or they walked into a room where she was she'd rush out, slamming every one of the fire doors between the kitchen and her bedroom, shouting and screaming as she went. It also transpired that there hadn't been a clean break after Christmas, and they'd hopped into bed together a couple of times. Now the psycho was pregnant with her ex's kid, leading to the hurling of abuse and objects. She decided to go for an abortion, further damaging her already fragile emotional state. She eventually moved out during the 3rd term, after making our lives hell for most of the second term.
Oh, and she didn't do her washing up, causing it to go mouldy, as we wouldn't touch it.
2. Scary man
We noticed the scary tall guy was doing a lot of washing his hands. With washing up liquid. for 10 minutes at a time, in boiling hot water. The longest someone saw him washing his hands for was about 40 minutes. He also had showers for about 30 minutes every day, although I think he did go over an hour once.
We figured out in the end that he had a fear of door handles, and wouldn't touch them. If he had to go through a door where he had to pull the handle, and couldn't follow someone else, he'd cover his hand using the long ragged sleeves of the denim shirt he always wore in order to touch the handle. If he did touch the handle, the handwashing ritual would recommence.
He's shed his long wiry hairs all over the house, and then get into everything. Mostly the shower, but they were also to be found in the kitchen, and anywhere else you'd rather not see someone else's hair.
One day, he flooded the shower, causing it to rain in the hall below the shower, claiming he'd had no idea the water was flowing out under the door, because 'he didn't have his contacts in'
As the capet dried out, it stank of fish, probabaly from the glue holding it down, and from that point on, it stank evry time it got hot.
His most scary action was to develop an obsession with another of the girls in the house, also with a long-term boyfriend elsewhere. Everywhere she went, he'd follow, whether he needed to go there or not. She just thought he was being friendly, and they did get on well. Listen to one of their hour-long conversations though, and you'd notice she was doing all the talking, with him just sitting there agreeing with evrything she said, evn when he had no knowledge of the subject whatsoever.
Eventually, he told her he thought the two of them would make a better couple than her and her current boyfriend, so she should break up with him. She disagreed, and was thoroughly creeped out by the whole thing. Despite the brush-off, he told her he 'hoped she'd change her mind'. He kept following her to the library etc., ostensibly as they're on the same course, to get stuff for the coursework they were both working on. Then a term later, he told her he still felt for her, she told him she didn't feel the same way at all. Now he blanks her whenever they meet, and claims it's her problem not his.
He was also nocturnal, and would go out on mysterious wanderings after dark, nevr telling us where he was going. Questioned repeatedly, he'd never reveal where he was going, despite asking us all constantly what we were up to.
He also didn'y do washing up for extended periods of time.
3. Greek guy
We didn't know the second-year greek guy that well, but he would always have loud conversations with his greek friends who were always in his room, and play loud crap greek music. One of the girls in the house once walked past his room when the door was closing from someone just walking in, and saw two topless women on the bed, and two men who weren't the greek guy in the greek guy's room. We reckon they were having an orgy. In a similar vein, the greek guy and his girlfriend had sex in the communal shower for over 40 minutes one morning. They also had sex at 3.20am, in the room directly above mine when I was trying to get to sleep. The thought of people having sex directly above my head (all the rooms have the same layout, so his bed was directly above mine), so I went and logged onto b3ta.
4. Quiet girl
She never spoke to us, and lived entirely off food in sachets. She'd make up the packets on the hob, then as soon as they were done, rush upstairs with the saucepan to eat it in her room. Very odd.
5. Messy girl
She was Quiet girl's friend, and together they got up to all kinds of stuff. The tampon soaked in Ribena and left in a sink was nice, as was the fake vomit thrown out of a window.
She really excelled herself when she was rejected in a club by a bloke, she decided she'd decorate the kitchen, with fairy liquid, tomato ketchup and BBQ sauce. BBQ sauce up the walls and on the ceilings, in the freezer and in one of the drawers. Vinegar in the cutlery drawer. Chess pieces thrown around the room, and put in people's food. I still have the note from our cleaner 'please clean worktops, floor, walls and ceiling'
And the perpetrators of this mess did nothing to help with the clean-up operation afterwards.
Particularly unpleasant was the addition of Flash surface cleaner with bleach to my milk in the fridge. Thankfully for me, psycho girl, who was present, thought it would be a good idea to ditch this milk before it killed me in the morning when I put it on on my Frosties. Lucky.
Well, that was fun.
Glad I don't live there anymore.
(,
Sat 22 Nov 2003, 19:28,
archived)
In my university, the halls in my college were organised into houses of 10 people, all sharing kitchen etc. Of these, 5 of us were normal.
1. Psycho girl
One girl broke up with her boyfriend from the first term at Christmas. It all seemed amicable, they'd just decided they didn't want to stay together. She seemed to have some problems letting go though.
He kept coming round the house post break-up, having made friends with other peole in the house. She began to flip out every time she saw him in the house. She would shout and throw stuff (biscuits, glasses, wet floor signs, carpet sweepers) at him, and slam doors. A lot. She then began to accuse another girl in the house (with a long-term boyfriend elsewhere) of 'stealing' her ex from her, and accusing them of doing all manner of things. Every time she walked into a room where either one of them was, or they walked into a room where she was she'd rush out, slamming every one of the fire doors between the kitchen and her bedroom, shouting and screaming as she went. It also transpired that there hadn't been a clean break after Christmas, and they'd hopped into bed together a couple of times. Now the psycho was pregnant with her ex's kid, leading to the hurling of abuse and objects. She decided to go for an abortion, further damaging her already fragile emotional state. She eventually moved out during the 3rd term, after making our lives hell for most of the second term.
Oh, and she didn't do her washing up, causing it to go mouldy, as we wouldn't touch it.
2. Scary man
We noticed the scary tall guy was doing a lot of washing his hands. With washing up liquid. for 10 minutes at a time, in boiling hot water. The longest someone saw him washing his hands for was about 40 minutes. He also had showers for about 30 minutes every day, although I think he did go over an hour once.
We figured out in the end that he had a fear of door handles, and wouldn't touch them. If he had to go through a door where he had to pull the handle, and couldn't follow someone else, he'd cover his hand using the long ragged sleeves of the denim shirt he always wore in order to touch the handle. If he did touch the handle, the handwashing ritual would recommence.
He's shed his long wiry hairs all over the house, and then get into everything. Mostly the shower, but they were also to be found in the kitchen, and anywhere else you'd rather not see someone else's hair.
One day, he flooded the shower, causing it to rain in the hall below the shower, claiming he'd had no idea the water was flowing out under the door, because 'he didn't have his contacts in'
As the capet dried out, it stank of fish, probabaly from the glue holding it down, and from that point on, it stank evry time it got hot.
His most scary action was to develop an obsession with another of the girls in the house, also with a long-term boyfriend elsewhere. Everywhere she went, he'd follow, whether he needed to go there or not. She just thought he was being friendly, and they did get on well. Listen to one of their hour-long conversations though, and you'd notice she was doing all the talking, with him just sitting there agreeing with evrything she said, evn when he had no knowledge of the subject whatsoever.
Eventually, he told her he thought the two of them would make a better couple than her and her current boyfriend, so she should break up with him. She disagreed, and was thoroughly creeped out by the whole thing. Despite the brush-off, he told her he 'hoped she'd change her mind'. He kept following her to the library etc., ostensibly as they're on the same course, to get stuff for the coursework they were both working on. Then a term later, he told her he still felt for her, she told him she didn't feel the same way at all. Now he blanks her whenever they meet, and claims it's her problem not his.
He was also nocturnal, and would go out on mysterious wanderings after dark, nevr telling us where he was going. Questioned repeatedly, he'd never reveal where he was going, despite asking us all constantly what we were up to.
He also didn'y do washing up for extended periods of time.
3. Greek guy
We didn't know the second-year greek guy that well, but he would always have loud conversations with his greek friends who were always in his room, and play loud crap greek music. One of the girls in the house once walked past his room when the door was closing from someone just walking in, and saw two topless women on the bed, and two men who weren't the greek guy in the greek guy's room. We reckon they were having an orgy. In a similar vein, the greek guy and his girlfriend had sex in the communal shower for over 40 minutes one morning. They also had sex at 3.20am, in the room directly above mine when I was trying to get to sleep. The thought of people having sex directly above my head (all the rooms have the same layout, so his bed was directly above mine), so I went and logged onto b3ta.
4. Quiet girl
She never spoke to us, and lived entirely off food in sachets. She'd make up the packets on the hob, then as soon as they were done, rush upstairs with the saucepan to eat it in her room. Very odd.
5. Messy girl
She was Quiet girl's friend, and together they got up to all kinds of stuff. The tampon soaked in Ribena and left in a sink was nice, as was the fake vomit thrown out of a window.
She really excelled herself when she was rejected in a club by a bloke, she decided she'd decorate the kitchen, with fairy liquid, tomato ketchup and BBQ sauce. BBQ sauce up the walls and on the ceilings, in the freezer and in one of the drawers. Vinegar in the cutlery drawer. Chess pieces thrown around the room, and put in people's food. I still have the note from our cleaner 'please clean worktops, floor, walls and ceiling'
And the perpetrators of this mess did nothing to help with the clean-up operation afterwards.
Particularly unpleasant was the addition of Flash surface cleaner with bleach to my milk in the fridge. Thankfully for me, psycho girl, who was present, thought it would be a good idea to ditch this milk before it killed me in the morning when I put it on on my Frosties. Lucky.
Well, that was fun.
Glad I don't live there anymore.
Flsah bleach? you were lucky..I lived with a manager of a mcdonalds who could voluntarily cause his nose to bleed. Which he did over all items of food of his in the fridge. Cos we liked using his milk etc. Sadly this did not put me off trying some nice looking muffins of his that he had "accidently" left out the previous evening. luckily another flatmate had bitten lustily into hers muffin b4 me. You dont offtn expect to find curry/chilli/tea-bag filling inside a blueberry muffin.
(,
Sun 23 Nov 2003, 0:57,
archived)