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# i answer the phone by saying 1 of 2 things
either:

'hello, cindy's massage parlour, where heaven is just a stroke away. how may i help you?'

or:

'hello, bob's taxidermy, you snuff 'em, we stuff 'em'

gets rid of cold-callers
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 0:12, archived)
# also "Hello, iqbal quality halal meat, mohammed speaking"
in dodgy accent :)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 0:14, archived)
# i don't think i could get away with calling myself mohammed
what with being a girl and all.

also, g'night, i'm off to my pit ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 0:17, archived)
# nite nite pit girl
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 0:18, archived)