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How Stuff Really Works (This challenge is now closed)
Think of an ordinary thing. Tell us how it really works. Use your imagination and then submit to the board.
(Fri 2 Aug 2002, 18:24)
because i'm a dummy
other image bolloxed. go figure.
had to move it to my isp webspace, you people broke my dsl!!
(, Mon 5 Aug 2002, 0:14, More)
What a hangover looks like inside your skull
Either that or a stroke.
(
moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 18:49, More)
Blue Holodeck of Death
1st thing I've posted here - not hugely original, I know
( benjymous help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 18:29, More)
how stuff really works
it's probably a bit big to put in here - but i wrote a bit on how the 'net really works a while ago and thought it was a good idea to enter :)
www.svenlat.com/how/internet.php
1st time poster so i hope this works ok. hope you don't mind me linking elsewhere but again, it's really big.
(, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 16:46, More)
An old joke revisited
Sadly, not by anyone competant.
( moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 16:08, More)
How Kitten Sausages really work
10 Kittens are exercised and nourished to the peak of health using the bidirection flexible kitten run (tm) Travel Edition. Fed using only the finest of Digestive Bisuits.
20 Once maximum kitten enjoyment has been reached, the flexible bidirectional kitten run (TM) Travel Edition is connected to the the Ver 4.0 Kitten sausage making device, and the product is then cooked to perfection in the built in kitten sausage roller oven (TM) and kept at a constant perfect temperature.
30 A fine meal is enjoyed by all.
40 The resultant waste products are then transported by sewer gnomes to the underground secret kitten bunker, where they are refined by rabid wolverine filtration units into high grade kitten-sausage-poo compost, and half is used in fiels in a big greenhouse in Antarctica where wheat is grown for digestives by High controller Furtive the Bear. The other half is fed into a time machine and forced to live time backwards until kitten embryos are returned.
50 These kitten embryos are then taken care of by nursemaid penguins, before being implanted into exfoliating and sudsing bath gauze thingys, before being sent out into the world with free money off vouchers for digestives attached.
60 goto 10
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 16:04, More)
How Mobile Phone Signals Really Work
Some fool at work wondered why their mobile phone showed their signal strength going up and down while they were sitting at their desk. My answer is:
The trick to understanding this is to notice that mobile phone towers are always placed high up - like on hills and tall buildings. People think they are sending out radio waves, but that is made up just to sell more tinfoil hats. They actually send out invisible water, just like a tap does.
Now because these towers are high up, when the invisible water comes down to ground level it splashes into a big pool of invisible water that has been put out by all the other mobile phone towers around the place. This causes ripples and then waves to occur on top of the pool of invisible water. And that's how come your mobile phone signal strength goes up and down all the time - it is telling you the depth of the invisible water where you are, which obviously changes depending on if you are under a wave or not at the time.
Using a mobile phone boils off some of the invisible water so the signal can be carried by the steam. That's why the invisible water always needs topping up from the towers. So, if you're having trouble with call dropouts, you need to take it back to the shop so they can open it up and clean out the invisible calcium deposits on the boiler element inside so your phone can boil invisible water better. Or sell you another phone.
It also explains why your ear gets hot when you talk on a mobile phone for a long time - your phone is trying to boil you too. Wrapping you head in tinfoil just bakes it. You could try using the phone in the shower instead, so you get cooled down and don't cook.
(
Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:43, More)
I most suddenly thought of the words:
"Cunt Jockey"
i hope this at least deserves a slight woo and yay
[note] this may just fit into the "how things work" category
(
Rainman, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 5:44, More)
How traffic warden training school works..
(
routine has perfected burgers, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 2:18, More)
How John Peel Really Works..
victorian children and a lever system! of course!
(
carrot rope, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 1:42, More)
sorry birds. it's true.
thanks to me wife for the humour input.
( pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Sat 3 Aug 2002, 22:13, More)
How Stuff Really Works (This challenge is now closed)Think of an ordinary thing. Tell us how it really works. Use your imagination and then submit to the board.
(Fri 2 Aug 2002, 18:24)
because i'm a dummy
other image bolloxed. go figure.
had to move it to my isp webspace, you people broke my dsl!!
(, Mon 5 Aug 2002, 0:14, More)
It sold It's soul to Satan.
What a hangover looks like inside your skull
Either that or a stroke.
(
moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 18:49, More)
Blue Holodeck of Death
1st thing I've posted here - not hugely original, I know
(
benjymous help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 18:29, More)
how stuff really works
it's probably a bit big to put in here - but i wrote a bit on how the 'net really works a while ago and thought it was a good idea to enter :)
www.svenlat.com/how/internet.php
1st time poster so i hope this works ok. hope you don't mind me linking elsewhere but again, it's really big.
(, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 16:46, More)
An old joke revisited
Sadly, not by anyone competant.
(
moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 16:08, More)
How Kitten Sausages really work
10 Kittens are exercised and nourished to the peak of health using the bidirection flexible kitten run (tm) Travel Edition. Fed using only the finest of Digestive Bisuits.
20 Once maximum kitten enjoyment has been reached, the flexible bidirectional kitten run (TM) Travel Edition is connected to the the Ver 4.0 Kitten sausage making device, and the product is then cooked to perfection in the built in kitten sausage roller oven (TM) and kept at a constant perfect temperature.
30 A fine meal is enjoyed by all.
40 The resultant waste products are then transported by sewer gnomes to the underground secret kitten bunker, where they are refined by rabid wolverine filtration units into high grade kitten-sausage-poo compost, and half is used in fiels in a big greenhouse in Antarctica where wheat is grown for digestives by High controller Furtive the Bear. The other half is fed into a time machine and forced to live time backwards until kitten embryos are returned.
50 These kitten embryos are then taken care of by nursemaid penguins, before being implanted into exfoliating and sudsing bath gauze thingys, before being sent out into the world with free money off vouchers for digestives attached.
60 goto 10
(
Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 16:04, More)
How Mobile Phone Signals Really Work
Some fool at work wondered why their mobile phone showed their signal strength going up and down while they were sitting at their desk. My answer is:
The trick to understanding this is to notice that mobile phone towers are always placed high up - like on hills and tall buildings. People think they are sending out radio waves, but that is made up just to sell more tinfoil hats. They actually send out invisible water, just like a tap does.
Now because these towers are high up, when the invisible water comes down to ground level it splashes into a big pool of invisible water that has been put out by all the other mobile phone towers around the place. This causes ripples and then waves to occur on top of the pool of invisible water. And that's how come your mobile phone signal strength goes up and down all the time - it is telling you the depth of the invisible water where you are, which obviously changes depending on if you are under a wave or not at the time.
Using a mobile phone boils off some of the invisible water so the signal can be carried by the steam. That's why the invisible water always needs topping up from the towers. So, if you're having trouble with call dropouts, you need to take it back to the shop so they can open it up and clean out the invisible calcium deposits on the boiler element inside so your phone can boil invisible water better. Or sell you another phone.
It also explains why your ear gets hot when you talk on a mobile phone for a long time - your phone is trying to boil you too. Wrapping you head in tinfoil just bakes it. You could try using the phone in the shower instead, so you get cooled down and don't cook.
(
Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:43, More)
I most suddenly thought of the words:
"Cunt Jockey"
i hope this at least deserves a slight woo and yay
[note] this may just fit into the "how things work" category
(
Rainman, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 5:44, More)
How traffic warden training school works..
(
routine has perfected burgers, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 2:18, More)
How John Peel Really Works..
victorian children and a lever system! of course!
(
carrot rope, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 1:42, More)
sorry birds. it's true.
thanks to me wife for the humour input.
(
pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Sat 3 Aug 2002, 22:13, More)