NEWSLETTER: WHAT IS LUNCH? BABY DON'T HURT ME
This Week:
* YOUTUBE - Changes explained
* BOOZE - with motivational quotes
* HASSELHOFF - sings Fresh Prince
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B3ta email 606 - 8 Nov 2013
Read this newsletter with a wry smile
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue606
Big : [email protected]
Unbig : [email protected]
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: BUY METHS ON AMAZON
The drink of Trampions (sponsored link)
Yeah yeah buy some meths, you probably don't
want to, but you might enjoy the stupid reviews.
"I had been on a couple of dates with a girl
from the office, and I must admit I was
starting to grow quite fond of her. She invited
me round to her place for dinner and I was very
keen to make the right impression. You know how
it is when you start to fancy somebody - there
is a tendency to over-analyze every little
thing so I was really struggling to choose an
appropriate bottle to bring to the dinner date."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0041WAY1...
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
>> YouTube changes explained <<
"In case you've been on YouTube today and are
confused," writes somegreybloke, with a video
to explain ALL of YouTube's recent changes.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1093923/
>> Internet-enabled Guy Fawkes <<
"Remember remember the 5th of November,
Gunpowder, Hackers and Cops," sings HappyToast,
with this homage to the original Anonymous mask
face man.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1092596
>> LOLACABANA <<
"Two amazing tunes but even better," brags
tickle of this seamless mashup. Seamless.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/LOLACABANA
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: USVSTH3M
The other b3ta-ish project
* THE NORTH-O-METER - rate your position in
England with our almost uncannily-accurate test.
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/north-o-meter/
* WRONGA.COM - drag the sliders for an instant
quote.
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/wronga/
* 23 THINGS SINGLE MEN DO WHEN LIVING ON THEIR
OWN BEFORE WOMEN CIVILISE THEM - we did a
'listicle'. Apparently they're popular now.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/66274933685/
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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Fancy Dress Failures Pt 2
We wanted more of your dressing-up disasters.
Luckily the Daily Mail hasn't noticed some
of your answers yet:
http://b3ta.com/questions/fancydress2/
* ASTHMA - "I went to a classmate's tenth
birthday fancy dress party. Managed to ruin the
party by causing her to have a panic-induced
asthma attack. How was I supposed to know she
was terrified of clowns?" (Smash Monkey)
* PANDA - "I dressed as a panda for a fancy
dress party, but it turned out the hosts had
been too lazy to bother, and too lazy to spread
the word thoroughly. I was a panda, my sister
was dressed as an 80s chick and her boyfriend
was Max from Where the Wild Things Are. In a
homemade costume sewn from towels, with a crown
and non-removable mittens. He could hardly hold
a drink in those mis-stitched mitts, let alone
eat or hygienically use the toilet. I even took
my own bamboo. I went home early." (sleepybinky)
* HARMLESS - "A friend of mine was born without
arms, just long fingery things. So he dressed up
as an industrial accident. Construction worker
clothing and a hard hat, shorten and shred the
sleeves and soak them in fake blood. Very hard
to see his fingery things in under all that mess
as they extend no more than 30cm or so from his
shoulders. Costume was indeed a bad taste hit
and pretty convincing. How convincing? A bit
pissed, he was wobbling home when a passing
ambulance screeched to a halt and some rather
alarmed paramedics mobbed him. As he was a bit
pissed it took him a while to explain that it is
perfectly OK for him to be getting about without
arms and that he was not "merely in shock."
(xixax)
>> This Week - THEFT <<
Ever stolen something? Own up to the B3ta
Police. Ever been the victim of theft? Grass
somebody up. It's what they would have wanted.
http://b3ta.com/questions/theft/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
>> Unsafe Password Generator <<
Ideal for generating easily-memorable
passwords, such as abcd1234, 123456, 4128,
butthead, dirty, angela, nascar, dolphin,
computer, or asdfgh.
http://unsafe-passwords.com/
>> Which side of the road does this country drive? <<
Interactive toy illustrating whether to drive
on the left or the right. Tip: if the country
was part of the British Empire when cars became
popular then the answer is probably left.
http://whatsideoftheroad.com/
>> Motivational text on pictures of booze <<
Hats off to whoever originated this awesome,
terrible thing. Inspirational fitness quotes,
superimposed on pictures of alcohol.
http://goo.gl/Wwsf5u
>> Listen to multi-tracks of favourite songs <<
Multitrack Love lets you separate out the bass
/ drums / guitars / vocal when listening to a
handful of songs including Nirvana’s Smells
Like Teen Spirit and REM’s Losing My Religion.
How is this witchcraft possible?
http://blog.zanorg.com/index.php
>> Something hidden in the desert <<
Touching monument in memory of a crashed flight
is visible on Google Earth.
http://goo.gl/fKlJmh
>> What the Queen is really saying <<
Captions helpfully shed light on the Queen's
real, considerably less refined private persona.
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/WHvJi
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
>> The Hoff sings Fresh Prince <<
You might think Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
parodies are played out but you’ll enjoy David
Hasselhoff’s performance of this.
http://vimeo.com/78343974
>> Classic Paintings Animated <<
Nicely-animated classic paintings. The pope
firework is a highlight.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Classic_Paintings_Animat...
>> Mouse v Cracker <<
Determined mouse will *not* give up, trying to
lift a massive cracker onto a high level
surface.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mouse_v_Cracker
>> Microwave cooking set to sad music <<
Everyday despair as a cooking show. Genius.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1091109
>> Mileys Lunch Box <<
Bad Lip Reading meets Northern pub-singing, in
easily one of the best parodies of Wrecking
Ball we've seen lately.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mileys_Lunch_Box
>> 'What Is Love?' boat crash <<
Party boat capsizing, looped and set to What Is
Love? You don't need to watch beyond 0:40 but
perhaps you'll want to, for the music.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/What_Is_Love_Boat_Crash
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Holleyweb Challenge
Last week we wanted you to celebrate the
glitz of the Hollywood Internet
Your favourites included:
* PIXAR: widower exchanges balloons for
1994 internet connection (monkeon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11025661
* ODYSSEY: monumental encounter with
deep-space Goatse (1.618...)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11025230
* CLINT: rogue detective turns to search
engine for assistance (barryheadwould)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11025363
All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/hollywood-internet/
>> New challenge: Mobile Phones in History <<
This week's herculean task is to
demonstrate, using webskillz, how the
presence of mobile phones might have
altered great moments in history.
Challenge suggested by Dr.Dunno.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/mobile-history/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include:
* A CHEESE THAT'S ALREADY TOASTED - to save
valuable time.
* A REALLY GOOD THUNDERSTORM - we're on the
19th floor and it would look amazing from up
here.
* A HOLIDAY between Bonfire Night and
Christmas. That's fricking ages, man. It's
bullshit.
Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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Elephant: [email protected]
Seal: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by
UltimateMonkey, Ghoti Fingers,
TownsendsPublisher, Wildyles, Leemondus,
nocturne72, Stew & Dumplings.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
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TOP TIP:
Lots of them - look here:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/
