NEWSLETTER: "YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT YOUR SUSCEPTIBILITY TO CLICKBAIT SAYS ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY!"
This Week:
* HISTORICAL PHOTOS - Camden, then & now
* ROBOTS - pissed like cyber-newts!
* KLF ADVERT- yeah, we like KLF stuff OK?
-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Producing 'Code 2'
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | alerts on the London
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| Underground since 2001"
B3ta email 669 - 10 July 2015
Read this issue whist pretending to be a ghost:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue669
Unfriend b3ta on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
-------------------------------------------------
: SPONSORED LINK
17 things only Polish people living in the
UK will understand
Basically Polish people are pretty amused that
British taps are so shite - and this is a well
researched list of observations that'll make you
see the UK through different eyes.
http://bit.ly/polish-observations-on-uk
-------------------------------------------------
: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
Other than farting on cushions
* DRUNK ROBOTS - Blackmoon has edited the
'robots falling over' footage, "to look more
like the accidents were drink induced."
http://bit.ly/hey-hey-its-the-alcobots
* 250 HORROR MOVIES IN 5 MINUTES - Mr
Eraserhead writes, "I've spent the last couple
of months putting this compilation of horror
movie moments together. All of them from my
personal DVD collection. Contains a fair amount
of blood and guts."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/250_Horror_Movies_in_5_M...
* NUCLEAR HOLIDAY - Admiral Crunch writes, "I
enjoy going on hols to places that are, well, a
bit off the beaten track. So I thought, if I can
survive Korea, then I can easily survive
Chernobyl."
https://www.flickr.com/photos/husey/albums/7215765...
-------------------------------------------------
: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* 50 SHADES OF FLASHHEART - making Mr Grey much
more likeable by reimagining him being played by
Rik Mayall.
http://50shadesofflashheart.tumblr.com/
* REGIONAL BFI FILMS - Put in your hometown or
somewhere equally shit and the BFI will serve up
one of their archive fillums about that place.
11 clips for Wolverhampton. Mostly about the
council. YAY!
http://player.bfi.org.uk/britain-on-film/map/
* CAMDEN PHOTOS, THEN AND GO - a collection of
Facebook pics featuring NW London about 100
years ago versus what they looks like now.
Fascinating, so much of mankind's energy is
devoted to fiddling with the facades of shops.
(You'll need to be logged into Facebook for this
link to work.)
http://bit.ly/north-west-london-time-travel
* IT'S A HOT DAY, SO 'BLOW AIR' ON THE LION -
wish we had one of these in the office. Well,
not the lion.
http://codepen.io/Yakudoo/full/YXxmYR/
-------------------------------------------------
: YOUR GUIDE TO LONDON UNDERGOUND CODES
Yep, code 2 = poo
Code 1: Blood
Code 2: Urine/Faeces
Code 3: Vomit
Code 4: Spillage
Code 5: Broken Glass
Code 6: Litter
(Thanks Londonist for this - we just googled it
as we heard a 'code 2' at Bank.)
-------------------------------------------------
: STUFF TO READ
Shove this stuff in your eye-holes
* RUSSIAN 'TROLL' AGENCY - in-depth report on a
web misinformation campaign. Frightening to
think how much of this shite might go on.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/07/magazine/the-age...
* HERMIT IN THE WOODS - interesting read about a
bloke who went into the woods and didn't
reappear until 27 years later. A few mental
issues and whatnot, but overall surprisingly
lucid and logical.
http://www.gq.com/story/the-last-true-hermit
-------------------------------------------------
Follow @b3ta on Twitter - if only because we
occasionally dig out old, obscene stories and stick
them on photographs of Thatcher.
https://twitter.com/b3ta/status/618416912381423616
-------------------------------------------------
: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV but with a big chicken hat. Maybe.
* KLF ADVERT - An oddly glorious shot for shot
remake of 3 AM Eternal to promote a Swedish
pension company. We put messages to Bill &
Jimmmy to ask if this was authorised and got
nothing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* BRETT DOMINO TEACHES ALED JONES TO RECORD
'JUMP AROUND' ON AN IPAD - an enjoyable slice of
daytime TV.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* 10 YEARS AGO R. KELLY RELEASED 'TAPPED IN THE
CLOSET' - we watched this again in tribute. If
you never saw it, then the Adam & Joe review is
a pretty good start.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* DROPPED SHOVEL SOUNDS LIKE NIRVANA - finally a
sequel to the 'tube gate that sounds like Blur's
Song 2' thingie.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/dropped_shovel_sounds_li...
* THE NEIGHBOURS UPSTAIRS AND THOSE STRANGE
NOISES THEY MAKE - living in a small flat, this
made a lot of sense to us.
http://bit.ly/shut-up-please-shut-up
-------------------------------------------------
: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Festival Tales
Last week we wanted your Festival Tales Your
favourites can be found here:
http://http://b3ta.com/questions/festivalsII/
Here's a selection of our favourites:
* FENCE CLIMBING Years ago, a mate and I got
caught climbing the fence at Glastonbury. They
made us go back inside and watch the rest of
Coldplay. (Joy Division Oven Gloves)
* SNAKE - I got a job working in the first Rock
above the falls festival. It was badly
organised, despite some larger bands like
Blondie playing there. I was given a Hi Vis vest
but given no other instruction about what to do.
So I smoked pot and sort of just hung around
hoping to chat with some of the bands backstage.
I was crossing the fields between tents and the
stage when people started screaming. A brown
snake, about 2m long, had been spotted right
amongst the punters. People turned to me. Now
I'm pretty live and let live when it comes to
wildlife, but this was Australia and the buggers
are poisonous. I wrenched a star picket out of
the ground with the intention of clubbing the
slithering bastard to death. I went for a big
overhead whack and missed it completely, it rose
up and back coiling for a strike but fortunately
my next blow connected and broke it's spine (it
being mostly spine), and then the hippy druggy
onlookers were treated to watching me stoving in
its head to a bloody mess for good measure. I
dropped its lifeless body in the bin. Took no
joy from the whole incident. (cumquat may)
* OLD MAN RAVER - Went to a sparsely-attended
rave in Phoenix Of the dozen or so people in
attendance, there was a courtly-looking fellow,
age about 70 - a bit out of place. So, I pointed
towards the stage and asked: "What do you think
of the music?" He thought for a second, and
diplomatically replied: "It's like Sinatra."
(Perv With A Dog)
>> This Week THAT ONE MATE <<
Second Best Porcupine asks, Can we have another
story about that lovable scamp Alan, please? We
all know an Alan. Tell us about that one mate
who can't help but get in to trouble.
http://b3ta.com/questions/alan/
-------------------------------------------------
: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'Undead Sitcom' challenge
Last week we poured over the Radio Times in
search of zombie tv comedy gold.
Your favourite results included:
* Meldrew: he doesnt bereave it.
(Jabberwoc)
http://b3ta.com/board/11160273
* Accorah: Weekly abuse from the spirit world.
(FreshWaterMole)
http://b3ta.com/board/11160055
* Delboy: Trigger done a face. (Ham OShatner)
http://b3ta.com/board/11160111
All these images, and a load more can be found
here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/undeadsitcom/
>> New challenge: New uses for tools <<
This week we're thinking up new uses for those
tools and gadgets stuck in the back of our
drawers. Take something from the kitchen,
toolbox or shed, use it in ways you shouldn't
and send us the photo evidence. Or just
photoshop someone abusing a lawnmower.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/toolreuse/
-------------------------------------------------
THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Jimbotfu, pissflaps,
evil_andy, chompedhomas & Fray Brentos. Image
challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW
bloke. Tip by robneymcplum.
-------------------------------------------------
Friend b3ta on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
-------------------------------------------------
TOP TIP:
Forget your Facebook password, then you can get
some proper work done.
