NEWSLETTER: "SITTING UNREAD IN YOUR INBOX, SINCE 2001"
This Week:
* B3TA SELLS AN AD - who would believe it?
* QUIZ - How disgusting are you?
* FESSHOLE - Murdered cat guilt
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're sleeping in bed
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | until it's all over
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| ... together (ew!)"
B3ta email 737 - 10 Jan 2020
Read this to your cat in meow noises:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue737
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: SPONSORED LINK(!)
B3tan writes book
Long-time B3tan Dr Whom has written a book.
It's called Before and After and is about a
601lb diabetic who needs his leg amputating.
He's being lifted out of his flat by crane when
the world ends. Buy Before and After NOW. (And
please do,so we don't feel guilty for taking
his money.
http://www.helpbiscuits.com/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
Other than making suspicious jam
>> How DISGUSTING Are You? <<
Malevole writes, "I managed to nag 423 people
into doing a survey of their hygiene (bathing,
toilet habits, misc. nasty things) and turned
it into a quiz so you can see how you compare
(if you did the survey, you might be able to
work out which dot represents you)"
https://vole.wtf/how-disgusting/
>> We Are Peas <<
Pi Bennett has written a song about peas. All
we are saying is give peas a chance.
http://b3ta.com/links/1531049
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessed, fessed-up like cat sick
Here our favs this week:
* BIBLE LIBEL - "I stay in hotels a lot for
work, and whenever there is a bible in a hotel
room I always write "Enjoy my book, God xxx" in
the front. I figure that some christian will be
thrilled to find an author-signed copy. But I
was too chicken to do it in a koran when I was
in Indonesia."
* DEAD CAT GUILT - "I have a vivid memory: when
I was 4/5, taking the family cat to the local
river for 'a swim'. Poor kitty drowned and the
guilt has haunted me since. Couple of
Christmases ago I got very drunk and confessed
to my parents. They told me we've never owned a
cat. Dad's allergic."
* PUB LOLS - "My bar used to have weekly
discounts for 'police, fire, and hospitality.'
I work in a hotel, so I got the discount from
the bartender, but we both knew whoever made
the sign didn't know what hospitality means."
Follow @feshhole NOW!
https://twitter.com/fesshole
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Jeremy Clarkson could write a book about all the
cars he's ever owned and call it "Autobiography"
or, "I'm a cunt".
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff made by otters, we mean others
>> Inspector Gadget Theme on Church Organ <<
Notoolsovernight writes, "Oddly satisfying.
Apologies for super-narrow-vision "
http://b3ta.com/links/1531068
>> Maps as Joy Division album cover <<
Joy Division album cover map thing, simple idea
done well. Press the key in the top left to
make Ian Curis sing and dance. (This is a lie,
but press it anyway)
https://anvaka.github.io/peak-map/#5.76/54.285/-3.555
>> How problematic are YOUR tweets? <
Just needs to also report the tweet and
cancelling can be automated.
http://theirwords.glitch.me
>> Videogame stamps <<
Enjoying that old computer games are now old
enough to stick on stamps. Nice to see Elite,
but no sign of the superior Manic Miner.
https://shop.royalmail.com/video-games-stamp-set
>> AI Feet <<
Science can now generate realistic feet by AI
and this "This X Does Not Exist" site knows its
potential audience: Quentin Tarantino probably.
https://thisfootdoesnotexist.com
>> A nice minimalist one-button game <<
Click to jump, click to die, click to make the
player cry.
https://pocketfruit.itch.io/upward
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FACT: We all know that Big Ben is the bell, but
the tower was recently renamed Elizabeth Tower
after the Queen, which means you can legit call
it Big Betty.
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make some stuff and become email famous
* SPINAL TAP MUSICAL - With this trend of every
old film becoming a stage musical - they one
they SHOULD do is Spinal Tap. It's *already* a
musical. Fans would love singing along. The big
set bits of Stone Henge and being stuck in a
pod are already theatre.
* KEIR STARMER RAP - Today's earworm: "Keir
Starmer" to the tune of Snow's Informer. Make
it so.
* RAINBOW GAME - did you know that no one ever
published a Zippy, Bungle & George game for the
ZX Spectrum. Please can someone put this
historical wrong, right.
Send photos of your cyber-nipples to the usual
address:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
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EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
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Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
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