NEWSLETTER: "NOT SURE WHETHER TO CALL OUR CYCLE SHOP BIKE CURIOUS OR PEDALFILES"
This Week:
* BOT - Daily Mail comments vs New Yorker cartoons
* VIDEOS - Watchable public domain shit
* SOCIAL DISTANCING - if monuments joined in
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Pivoting our business
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | to pop-up undertakers
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| ... together"
B3ta email 743 - 06 Apr 2020
Read this issue, broken looking, on your phone:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue743
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
Other than making suspicious jam
>> Random New Yorker Cartoons With Daily Mail Comments <<
JimmerUK tells he's been "inspired to write a
Twitter bot. I have scoured the bottom half of
the Mail Online and currently have about 300
pearls of wisdom which are then paired with a
random cartoon every hour. Sometimes the
concept works, sometimes it doesn't."
https://twitter.com/The_DailyMailer
>> Social Distancing lols <<
Drivelsieve writes has made a series of world
monuments practise social distancing.
http://b3ta.com/links/1536179
>> Public domain movies <<
Matt Round writes, "I trawled some lists of
public domain movies and put together my own
version of Netflix. There's also an amazing
Voleflix Original by HappyToast, and if you
add stuff to Your List it'll rate your taste
in movies (no arguments, its verdict is
FINAL)"
https://vole.wtf/voleflix/
>> NHS poster - Profits to the NHS. <<
Dr Dunno writes, "My cover image for the New
European celebrating the hard work of NHS
staff is available now as a poster for just
£10 and 100% profits go to charities that help
support the NHS during this difficult time.
http://www.theneweuropean.co.uk/top-stories/front-...
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Who has left the house or congregated in groups
larger than two people since B3ta launched
anyway?
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: FESSHOLE
You anonymous confessions, confessed
Each week we colate your howls into the abyss.
Our faves include:
* LAUGHING GNOME - "For the last ten years I
have been moving my neighbours garden gnomes
about two inches every night so it looks like
they are slowly wandering around the garden."
* MARIO FART - "Last night's leftover curry,
eaten at lunch, gave me a second wave of
tremendous pleasure this afternoon as my farts
jet powered my cycle home from work. I felt
like a Mario kart character."
* SEXY TIME - "The first time I was invited to
an orgy I was unsure of the etiquette and
presented the hosts with a bunch of flowers."
For the best confession of March, and this is
really worth a click, read this:
https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/12454063373260...
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Which rapper is most likely to turn his pets
into chowder after several days of coronavirus
starvation? Soup doggy-dog.
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Content made by others. The bastards.
* 1970s TAT - Peter Wyngarde's estate was
recently up for auction. And is every bit as
bonkers as you might expect. Google for his LP
'When Sex Leers Its Inquisitive Head' if
you're bored and want something that should
definitly be left in the past.
https://www.the-saleroom.com/en-gb/auction-catalog...
* CREEPY ESTATE AGENT GAME - This is a nice
little game. Reminds me of those Right Move
links that go viral because someone has a
nutty room on image 4.
https://corpsepile.itch.io/the-open-house
* LP COVERS VS SOCIAL DISTANCING - wish we'd
thought of this as an image challenge.
https://6feetcovers.wixsite.com/6feetcovers
* THE LADYBIRD BOOK OF COVID-19 - made us
smile anyway. Probably annoy the actual
writers of these things.
https://imgur.com/gallery/PfKYrrW
* OLD FLASH INTERNET SIMULATOR - "This is
great, definitely one for next newsletter"
writes Matt Round.
http://mackerelmediafish.com
* REMEMBER YTMND? You're the man now dog is
BACK. Thank fuck a bit of old internet is
back. Makes B3ta less lonely.
https://ytmnd.com/
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If you’re struggling to tell the days apart
under social distancing we recommend the 5:2
diet so at least you can recognise Monday and
Thursday by them being extra miserable.
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
New one: Tigers
One word challenge - Tigers! go!
https://b3ta.com/challenge/tigers/all
Also our coronavirus challenge remains open
and timely.
https://b3ta.com/challenge/coronavirus/popular/
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Me: Did you know The Wombles were the only kids
TV characters captured by the Nazis?
Her: Sorry?
Me: *sings* Hitler has only got one ball
Her: ...
Me: You know, one ball / Womble
Her: ... I'm beginning to regret being locked in
with you
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
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