NEWSLETTER: "WHAT'S CANADIAN AND SOUND LIKE A SEA-LION DYING? CELINE DION"
This Week:
* PHOTOS - This MP Does not exist
* LONGWAVE - The Radio 4 Chill Out mix
* COMPUTERS - Made of paper like they should be
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Let's pretend to be
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | snorty little
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| piglets... together"
B3ta email 747 - 14 Jun 2020
Read this issue in your pants whilst eating ham:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue747
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
Other than making suspicious jam
>> This MP Does Not Exist <<
Matt Round writes, "Yes, I've done one of
those fancy neural network image things. I
know we all love politicians and can't get
enough of them, so I've generated loads more
and created new names & constituencies too. Be
warned, some seem to have been let out of the
vat before they're fully formed...""
https://b3ta.com/links/This_MP_Does_Not_Exist
>> Longwave: the Tripping Forecast <<
Your editor Rob Manuel has been using the
lockdown time to imagine it's 1989 and you've
taken a pill in a club; it gets too much & you
wander into the chill out room & the DJ is
playing a super mellow set of Radio 4
classics. Tune in, turn on and chill out:
https://soundcloud.com/l_o_n_g_w_a_v_e/the-trippin...
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PG Tips stands for Peter Gabriel's tips and it's
the section of his website where he offers handy
advice "To enhance the flavour of your ham,
glaze the rind"
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Content from the udders of the internet
* OLD COMPUTERS MADE OUT OF PAPER - who
doesn't want to make an Amtsrad CPC 464 out of
some A4? Finally find a use for that printer,
if there's still any ink in it.
http://rockybergen.com/papercraft
* MULTIPLE SIDOSIS - never mind all those
choirs/bands doing multi-track stuff via zoom,
try it with an old cine camera. Sid Laverents
was a genius who invented our future.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* <BLINKING HELL> - someone has made a
physical <blink> tag. Hopefully <marquee>
next, with text that slides when you tip it.
https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2020/05/building-a-physic...
* TAXI SIM - There have been a few outdoor
simulators doing the rounds. This one is our
favourite due to the use of local radio, so
you can imagine being in a taxi on holiday.
The Italy one needs to feature more near-death
moments for a truly realistic experience,
however.
https://driveandlisten.herokuapp.com
* OFFICE SLACKER - Every episode of "The
Office" recreated in Slack. Hey did you know
Slack was created by the one-time co-founder
of B3ta? Hi Cal!
https://theofficeslack.com/
* BOOZE SIM - Pretend to be drunk when posting
online, even when you have been drinking
mostly non-alcoholic booze for three months to
keep the anxiety levels in check.
https://drunk-translator.com/
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Like Doctor Who, the best James Bond is probably
the one you watched aged 10
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Opposite Books
Here's the best images from last week:
* A CHILDREN'S CLASSIC - from plankton
http://b3ta.com/board/11315553
* OPPOSITE - from insignificantsnivellinglittleturd
http://b3ta.com/board/11315663
* WHATEVER - from TheCrookitFigger
http://b3ta.com/board/11315541
* See all the other images from the 'Opposite
Books' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/oppositebooks
>> This week: SEGA 60 <<
SEGA turned 60 this week. Wish them a happy
birthday by photoshopping their many games
http://b3ta.com/challenge/SEGA60
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Now all the statues are being cancelled and “put
in museums” do hope it’s the same museum. I
would probably go to the Museum Of Bronze
Bastards Who Have Left Us A Complicated Legacy.
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: FESSHOLE
Your anonymous confessions, confessed
Each week we collate your fibs about sex and
pissing into sinks into shareable content.
Our faves include:
* TROLLS - "I used to go on netmums and post
things like 'is it ok to give my 1 year old
Coca-Cola?/fruit shoots?/whisky in their
bedtime bottle?' Just for shits n giggles. It
was like throwing a hand grenade into a
cesspool."
* WIKIPEDIA - "10 years ago I edited Roy
Hodgson's Wikipedia page to falsely say that
he speaks four languages and reads Martin
Amis. It got picked up by the media when he
became England manager and he evidently hasn't
since felt the need to deny it."
* CATS - "My partner's son claims his cat is
really large and it's not. It's a normal sized
cat and it's getting to me."
Join the 75,000 cunts that have followed this
shit. Or follow the less popular @anon_opin
which is the same shit but slightly different.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
https://twitter.com/anon_opin/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
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Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
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Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round & David
Stevenson. Plus BatFastardCom & Miss
Fortunate.
Please join the patreon so we can afford to
eat. And thank you to newish Patreons Ben
Rout, Tim Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence
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one Paul Blanchard. Thanks Paul.
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