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NEWSLETTER: "WHAT'S CANADIAN AND SOUND LIKE A SEA-LION DYING? CELINE DION"

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This Week:
* PHOTOS - This MP Does not exist
* LONGWAVE - The Radio 4 Chill Out mix
* COMPUTERS - Made of paper like they should be 

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "Let's pretend to be 
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   snorty little 
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|   piglets... together"

B3ta email 747 - 14 Jun 2020

Read this issue in your pants whilst eating ham:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue747

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
  Other than making suspicious jam

  >> This MP Does Not Exist <<
  Matt Round writes, "Yes, I've done one of
  those fancy neural network image things. I
  know we all love politicians and can't get
  enough of them, so I've generated loads more
  and created new names & constituencies too. Be
  warned, some seem to have been let out of the
  vat before they're fully formed...""
https://b3ta.com/links/This_MP_Does_Not_Exist

  >> Longwave: the Tripping Forecast <<
  Your editor Rob Manuel has been using the
  lockdown time to imagine it's 1989 and you've
  taken a pill in a club; it gets too much & you
  wander into the chill out room & the DJ is
  playing a super mellow set of Radio 4
  classics. Tune in, turn on and chill out:
https://soundcloud.com/l_o_n_g_w_a_v_e/the-tripping-forecast

-------------------------------------------------

PG Tips stands for Peter Gabriel's tips and it's
the section of his website where he offers handy
advice "To enhance the flavour of your ham,
glaze the rind"

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
  Content from the udders of the internet 

  * OLD COMPUTERS MADE OUT OF PAPER - who
  doesn't want to make an Amtsrad CPC 464 out of
  some A4? Finally find a use for that printer,
  if there's still any ink in it.
http://rockybergen.com/papercraft

  * MULTIPLE SIDOSIS - never mind all those
  choirs/bands doing multi-track stuff via zoom,
  try it with an old cine camera. Sid Laverents
  was a genius who invented our future.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mblxjfh5kE

  * <BLINKING HELL> - someone has made a
  physical <blink> tag. Hopefully <marquee>
  next, with text that slides when you tip it.
https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2020/05/building-a-physical-blink-tag/

  * TAXI SIM - There have been a few outdoor
  simulators doing the rounds.  This one is our
  favourite due to the use of local radio, so
  you can imagine being in a taxi on holiday. 
  The Italy one needs to feature more near-death
  moments for a truly realistic experience,
  however.
https://driveandlisten.herokuapp.com
 
  * OFFICE SLACKER - Every episode of "The
  Office" recreated in Slack. Hey did you know
  Slack was created by the one-time co-founder
  of B3ta? Hi Cal! 
https://theofficeslack.com/

  * BOOZE SIM - Pretend to be drunk when posting
  online, even when you have been drinking
  mostly non-alcoholic booze for three months to
  keep the anxiety levels in check.
https://drunk-translator.com/?lang=eng

-------------------------------------------------

Like Doctor Who, the best James Bond is probably
the one you watched aged 10

-------------------------------------------------

: IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Opposite Books

  Here's the best images from last week:

  * A CHILDREN'S CLASSIC - from plankton
http://b3ta.com/board/11315553

  * OPPOSITE - from insignificantsnivellinglittleturd
http://b3ta.com/board/11315663

  * WHATEVER - from  TheCrookitFigger
http://b3ta.com/board/11315541

  * See all the other images from the 'Opposite
  Books' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/oppositebooks

  >> This week: SEGA 60 <<
  SEGA turned 60 this week. Wish them a happy
  birthday by photoshopping their many games
http://b3ta.com/challenge/SEGA60

-------------------------------------------------

Now all the statues are being cancelled and “put
in museums” do hope it’s the same museum. I
would probably go to the Museum Of Bronze
Bastards Who Have Left Us A Complicated Legacy.

-------------------------------------------------

: FESSHOLE
  Your anonymous confessions, confessed
  
  Each week we collate your fibs about sex and
  pissing into sinks into shareable content.

  Our faves include:

  * TROLLS - "I used to go on netmums and post
  things like 'is it ok to give my 1 year old
  Coca-Cola?/fruit shoots?/whisky in their
  bedtime bottle?' Just for shits n giggles. It
  was like throwing a hand grenade into a
  cesspool."

  * WIKIPEDIA - "10 years ago I edited Roy
  Hodgson's Wikipedia page to falsely say that
  he speaks four languages and reads Martin
  Amis. It got picked up by the media when he
  became England manager and he evidently hasn't
  since felt the need to deny it."

  * CATS - "My partner's son claims his cat is
  really large and it's not. It's a normal sized
  cat and it's getting to me."

  Join the 75,000 cunts that have followed this
  shit. Or follow the less popular @anon_opin
  which is the same shit but slightly different.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
https://twitter.com/anon_opin/

-------------------------------------------------


-------------------------------------------------

: PATREON THANKS 
  We love all these people

  *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
  MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
  JAMES* *STOOBERT*

  24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
  EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
  LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
  VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
  SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
  ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH

  Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
  lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
  Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
  Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
  Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
  Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
  blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
  McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
  Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
  Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
  Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
  Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
  Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
  James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
  Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
  Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
  Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
  James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
  Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
  Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
  McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
  Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
  Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
  Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
  Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
  Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
  Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
  Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
  Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
  bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
  Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
  wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
  Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
  Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
  Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
  Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
  Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
  Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
  Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
  Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
  Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
  Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
  Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
  Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
  Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
  Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
  Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
  Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
  Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
  Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
  McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
  Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
  Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
  Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
  Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
  Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
  Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
  Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
  Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
  Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
  Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
  Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
  Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
  Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
  peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
  Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
  Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
  Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
  Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
  Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
  Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
  John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
  Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
  Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
  Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
  olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
  M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
  Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
  Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
  Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
  Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
  Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
  Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
  Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
  McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
  Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
  Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
  Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
  Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
  Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
  Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
  Kahn, Matt.

  EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round & David
  Stevenson. Plus BatFastardCom & Miss
  Fortunate.

  Please join the patreon so we can afford to
  eat. And thank you to newish Patreons Ben
  Rout, Tim Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence
  Saussez, Derek Colley. Martin Pritchard,
  Stephanie Wissinger, Dion Ashton and newest
  one Paul Blanchard. Thanks Paul.
http://patreon.com/b3ta

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