NEWSLETTER: "RIP VERA LYNN - THE CURSE OF WORLD WAR II TAKES ANOTHER TOO SOON"
This Week:
* VIDEO - Shipping Forecast pastiche
* INTERACTIVE - retro Glastonbury simulator
* PHOTOS - ButtyStock II, Electric Buttyroo
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're shitting up
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the web with junk
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| ... together"
B3ta email 748 - 3rd Jun 2020
Read this crying and wanking:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue748
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: WHAT B3TANS HAVE BEEN DOING
Other than shitting themselves and wanking
* THE TRIPPING FORECAST - Your B3ta editor and
HappyToast and C_Kick have combined powers to
make a skit on Radio 4's Shipping Forecast,
best consumed before 1990, very much R U ON
ONE CROMARTY?
https://youtu.be/CruFRlPERWE
* 90s FESTIVAL GENERATOR - Monkeon writes, "I
get the competition of Glastonbury's virtual
festival last weekend, but mine is for middle
aged indie kids, and the footage is primarily
of forgotten bands recorded on a shaky
camcorder."
https://monkeon.co.uk/90sfestivalgenerator/
* BUTTYSTOCK II - Matt Round writes,
"Buttystock has gone live, with video and
HappyToast's 3d models."
https://vole.wtf/buttystock/
* ALGO-PEANUTS - can AI steal the soul of a
dead artist? Shardcore stuffs the entire
history of Peanuts into his GAN to find out.
http://shardcore.org/shardpress2019/2020/06/17/alg...
* DINO-CUNTS - Joel Veitch writes, "We made a
new Dinosaurs: Terrible Lizards cartoon. This
one has a Tyrannosaurus in it. Whoop Whoop!""
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* UK CORONAVIRUS DEATHS PUT IN PERSPECTIVE -
JimmerUk writes, "Three and a half months into
a global pandemic, tens of thousands of people
have died in the UK. The numbers are almost
meaningless, so I tried to put them in
perspective."
https://jimmeruk.com/covidcounter
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What's grey and lights up?
An elephant being told they're beautiful.
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: FESS(TERING)HOLE
Your anonymous confessions, shitted up for lols
Each week we collate your fibs about wanking
and pissing on pigeons into shareable content.
Our faves include:
* NO CLAPS - "I haven't clapped for the NHS
even once. I show my support by paying my
taxes and not voting tory."
* NO SPOONS - "I used to work at a Spoons in
Norwich. When Tim visited I poured his pint
from the spill tray. Fuck that guy."
* NO CARS - "I look away when an expensive
sports car passes me because I don't want to
give the driver the satisfaction."
Join the 78,000 heartless wankers that have
followed this shit. Link goes to our "best of
May" collection so it's better than normal as
it's all the bits that have 800+ favs. That's
like having your lols predigested so you can
eat them like a baby bird.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/12768791519082...
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What's the difference between George Michael's
second solo LP and Nigel Farage's radio career
now he's been fired?
One is listen without prejudice, the other is
prejudice without listeners.
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: SITES IN BEEFS
The OXO content of other people's beef mistakes
* CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: You're Simon
Cowell. Can you get a number 1 hit single?
https://twitter.com/AdrianRMG/status/1273225250700...
* LIMMY'S WE'LL MEET AGAIN TECHNO COVER. The
greatest tribute to Vera Lynn from the man
with an irrational dislike for Daft Punk.
https://twitter.com/DaftLimmy/status/1260298058597...
* HOUSEMARTINS SING RENT-A-GHOST - Ambegris
writes, "This guy's been doing loads of
impressions of artists doing old TV themes.
See also Bowie's Button Moon or Johnny Cash's
Auf Wiedersehen Pet."
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DOG - A single-joke
website in rainbow Comic Sans.
https://haveyouseenthis.dog
* HARD NOSTALGIA - a collection of sites that
feature fake desktops.
https://simone.computer/#/webdesktops
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We know it's a right-wing anxiety wank that
"they're renaming the White Cliffs of Dover now"
but we can't help but think of new names for
them: Wyclef; Got Any Veras?; and Richard.
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Statues
Here's the best images from last week:
* WORKING TOGETHER, from The Twisted Omentum
http://b3ta.com/board/11317130
* NEW SAFETY ADVICE FROM THE WHO, from Pizopop
http://b3ta.com/board/11316792
* STOP ERASIN ARE HISTRY!, from Bod
http://b3ta.com/board/11316303
* See all the other images from the 'Statues' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/statues
>> This week: Animal Politicians <<
Photoshop politicians who have names that
sound like animals to look like they sound.
Like Dominic Crab or Jacob Rees-Frog.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/animalpoliticians
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HOW TO WRITE A BOOK: Tippex out all the words
from a novel you like and type in your own
words.
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
BONUS THOUGHT: The episode of Quantum Leap
we'd like to watch is where Sam leaps into the
body of Sir Clive Sinclair making the advert
for the Sinclair Quantum Leap, and the
director is asking him to jump over the huge
IBM PC and it looks awfully dangerous and he
goes "Oh boy!"
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round.
Please join the patreon so we can afford to
eat. And thank you to newish Patreons Ben
Rout, Tim Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence
Saussez, Derek Colley. Martin Pritchard,
Stephanie Wissinger, Dion Ashton and newest
one Paul Blanchard. Thanks Paul.
http://patreon.com/b3ta
