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NEWSLETTER: "DOES WEST HAM IMPLY THE EXISTENCE OF A PORK COMPASS?"

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"Does West Ham imply the existence of a pork compass?"
This Week:
* MUSIC GENRE - Hambient House
* VIDEO - Cyriak vs Sparks
* PIXELS - Star Wars in 250k

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |  "We're loving the
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ | weird taste of internet
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|   ham ... together"

B3ta email 749 - 17th Jul 2020

Read this issue to your cat for "meow fun":
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue749

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
  Other than making duvet tents with their dicks

  >> Introducing: Hambient House <<
  Your editor Rob Mannuel writes, "I decided to
  create my own music genre 'Hambient House'
  where I mix old TV adverts for pork products
  with chilled soundscapes. I apologise if this
  is too sexy for work." What next? Pig Beat?
  Records with (wait for it) real scratching(s)?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cbSOS12qT0

  >> Cyriak does video for Sparks <<
  B3tan diasporan Cyriaks has made a video for
  Sparks' The Existential Threat. It's
  everything you'd expect it to be.
http://b3ta.com/links/1543490

  >> Star Wars in pixels <<
  David J Court writes, "My pixelmashes from
  back in 2008 seem to have been rediscovered
  again by a few, so I've stuck them all
  together on my blog.  Fancy seeing shoddy 8
  bit animated GIFs of all the films you've
  loved? It's your lucky day!"
https://davidjcourt.co.uk/post/the-pixelmash-collection

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White bread is just pasta with bubbles. Change our mind.

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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Flat, slow, clicky video

  * THIS HORSE DOES NOT EXIST -
  AI-image-generator, but for horses...which are
  clearly harder to do.
https://thishorsedoesnotexist.com/

  * PUNHUB - a simple idea, well executed. Just
  pun gags pasted on stockphotos.
https://twitter.com/PunHubOnline

  * RISE AND FALL OF FLASH - good long read on
  the technology we once loved. There's been
  nothing to replace it. The joy of being able
  to bash out a shit game idea in an afternoon
  and reaching a million people. Best high in
  the world.
https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2020/07/the-rise-and-fall-of-adobe-flash/

  * MUSIC GAME - wish they'd make a version of
  this in the style of Daley Thompson's
  decathlon, in which you must play Chopsticks
  as fast as possible by whacking at your
  keyboard.
https://touchpianist.com

  * 'I HAVE EATEN THE PLUMS THAT WERE IN THE
  ICEBOX' GAME - indie games are better than big
  budget games, partly because they can go as
  weirdly niche as this.
https://weecalrobot.itch.io/gottaeattheplums

  * SEND EMAILS STRAIGHT TO SPAM - Someone has
  made one of the ideas from Nathan for You.  As
  with lots of his ideas, it probably would
  actually work.
https://straight2spam.com

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We've done the mortality maths on this and if an
equivalent of Johnny Cash released Hurt today -
a 70 y/o man recording a 7 y/o song -  it would
be like Peter Gabriel doing an acoustic cover of
Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines.

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: FESSHOLE
  Your anonymous confessions, fessed up for lols

  * STAR TREK - "My wife wanted me to pick some
  'rousing music' for the background whilst we
  were signing our wedding certificate at the
  church , so I picked the theme tune to Star
  Trek voyager. To this day 15 yrs I have to
  keep her away from repeats so she doesn't
  discover it"

  * BANANAS - "Every morning I bring my wife
  coffee and a banana whilst she is in bed. I
  regularly hide the banana in my pants so she
  has to dig for it. Been doing it for years and
  it still makes me giggle like a 14 year old
  boy. I am a 56 year old man."

  * STUMPS - "A few years ago, my partners Aunt
  had one of her legs amputated to stop an
  infection spreading. After the operation we
  FaceTimed her and I said 'I can't wait to see
  you once you're back on your feet'. It still
  keeps me up at night."

  Join the 79,000 heartless shits that have
  followed this sociopathic junk. Link goes to
  the highest faved stuff of June.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/1281135711685672960

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Just scrolled past some photos of the Beatles
and they hadn't been made into ladies by an app,
and it was weird.

-------------------------------------------------

: IMAGE CHALLENGE
  New faces for art

  Here's the best images from last week:

  * VEGETABLE RIGHTS & PEACE - Octo
http://b3ta.com/board/11317777

  * CHANGING THE FACE OF ART - Ninj
http://b3ta.com/board/11318005

  * MADONNA AND CHUCKLE - (a)lexistwit
http://b3ta.com/board/11317764

  * See all the other images from the 'New faces
  for art' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/newfacesforart/popular


  >> This week: TV Dinners <<
  Turn TV shows into food and vice versa: Dr
  Whoumous, S*M*A*S*H, Magnum PIE, etc.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/tvdinners/popular

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If there's any hippy genetic engineers reading
this: you could change the world to a better
place by making a marijuana weed that grows in
the UK like nettles.

-------------------------------------------------

: PATREON THANKS
  We love all these people

  *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
  MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
  JAMES* *STOOBERT*

  24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
  EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
  LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
  VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
  SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
  ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH

  Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
  lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
  Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
  Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
  Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
  Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
  blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
  McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
  Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
  Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
  Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
  Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
  Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
  James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
  Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
  Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
  Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
  James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
  Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
  Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
  McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
  Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
  Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
  Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
  Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
  Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
  Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
  Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
  Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
  bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
  Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
  wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
  Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
  Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
  Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
  Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
  Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
  Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
  Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
  Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
  Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
  Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
  Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
  Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
  Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
  Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
  Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
  Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
  Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
  Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
  McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
  Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
  Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
  Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
  Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
  Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
  Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
  Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
  Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
  Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
  Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
  Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
  Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
  Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
  peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
  Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
  Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
  Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
  Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
  Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
  Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
  John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
  Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
  Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
  Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
  olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
  M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
  Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
  Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
  Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
  Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
  Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
  Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
  Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
  McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
  Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
  Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
  Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
  Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
  Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
  Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
  Kahn, Matt.

  EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round.
  Extinct Jesus Dossier.

  And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
  Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
  Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
  Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
  NEWER ONES: Mark (Mavis), Joshua Rackstraw,
  Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri Bionic, Chris
  Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris Smith, Daniel
  Malbon, James Heaver and Phil Lovell. Please
  join the patreon so we can afford to buy
  sausages.
http://patreon.com/b3ta

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