NEWSLETTER: "DOES WEST HAM IMPLY THE EXISTENCE OF A PORK COMPASS?"
"Does West Ham imply the existence of a pork compass?"
This Week:
* MUSIC GENRE - Hambient House
* VIDEO - Cyriak vs Sparks
* PIXELS - Star Wars in 250k
-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're loving the
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | weird taste of internet
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| ham ... together"
B3ta email 749 - 17th Jul 2020
Read this issue to your cat for "meow fun":
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue749
-------------------------------------------------
: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
Other than making duvet tents with their dicks
>> Introducing: Hambient House <<
Your editor Rob Mannuel writes, "I decided to
create my own music genre 'Hambient House'
where I mix old TV adverts for pork products
with chilled soundscapes. I apologise if this
is too sexy for work." What next? Pig Beat?
Records with (wait for it) real scratching(s)?
https://www.youtube.com/watch
>> Cyriak does video for Sparks <<
B3tan diasporan Cyriaks has made a video for
Sparks' The Existential Threat. It's
everything you'd expect it to be.
http://b3ta.com/links/1543490
>> Star Wars in pixels <<
David J Court writes, "My pixelmashes from
back in 2008 seem to have been rediscovered
again by a few, so I've stuck them all
together on my blog. Fancy seeing shoddy 8
bit animated GIFs of all the films you've
loved? It's your lucky day!"
https://davidjcourt.co.uk/post/the-pixelmash-colle...
-------------------------------------------------
White bread is just pasta with bubbles. Change our mind.
-------------------------------------------------
: SITES IN BRIEF
Flat, slow, clicky video
* THIS HORSE DOES NOT EXIST -
AI-image-generator, but for horses...which are
clearly harder to do.
https://thishorsedoesnotexist.com/
* PUNHUB - a simple idea, well executed. Just
pun gags pasted on stockphotos.
https://twitter.com/PunHubOnline
* RISE AND FALL OF FLASH - good long read on
the technology we once loved. There's been
nothing to replace it. The joy of being able
to bash out a shit game idea in an afternoon
and reaching a million people. Best high in
the world.
https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/202...
* MUSIC GAME - wish they'd make a version of
this in the style of Daley Thompson's
decathlon, in which you must play Chopsticks
as fast as possible by whacking at your
keyboard.
https://touchpianist.com
* 'I HAVE EATEN THE PLUMS THAT WERE IN THE
ICEBOX' GAME - indie games are better than big
budget games, partly because they can go as
weirdly niche as this.
https://weecalrobot.itch.io/gottaeattheplums
* SEND EMAILS STRAIGHT TO SPAM - Someone has
made one of the ideas from Nathan for You. As
with lots of his ideas, it probably would
actually work.
https://straight2spam.com
-------------------------------------------------
We've done the mortality maths on this and if an
equivalent of Johnny Cash released Hurt today -
a 70 y/o man recording a 7 y/o song - it would
be like Peter Gabriel doing an acoustic cover of
Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines.
-------------------------------------------------
: FESSHOLE
Your anonymous confessions, fessed up for lols
* STAR TREK - "My wife wanted me to pick some
'rousing music' for the background whilst we
were signing our wedding certificate at the
church , so I picked the theme tune to Star
Trek voyager. To this day 15 yrs I have to
keep her away from repeats so she doesn't
discover it"
* BANANAS - "Every morning I bring my wife
coffee and a banana whilst she is in bed. I
regularly hide the banana in my pants so she
has to dig for it. Been doing it for years and
it still makes me giggle like a 14 year old
boy. I am a 56 year old man."
* STUMPS - "A few years ago, my partners Aunt
had one of her legs amputated to stop an
infection spreading. After the operation we
FaceTimed her and I said 'I can't wait to see
you once you're back on your feet'. It still
keeps me up at night."
Join the 79,000 heartless shits that have
followed this sociopathic junk. Link goes to
the highest faved stuff of June.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/12811357116856...
-------------------------------------------------
Just scrolled past some photos of the Beatles
and they hadn't been made into ladies by an app,
and it was weird.
-------------------------------------------------
: IMAGE CHALLENGE
New faces for art
Here's the best images from last week:
* VEGETABLE RIGHTS & PEACE - Octo
http://b3ta.com/board/11317777
* CHANGING THE FACE OF ART - Ninj
http://b3ta.com/board/11318005
* MADONNA AND CHUCKLE - (a)lexistwit
http://b3ta.com/board/11317764
* See all the other images from the 'New faces
for art' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/newfacesforart/popular
>> This week: TV Dinners <<
Turn TV shows into food and vice versa: Dr
Whoumous, S*M*A*S*H, Magnum PIE, etc.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/tvdinners/popular
-------------------------------------------------
If there's any hippy genetic engineers reading
this: you could change the world to a better
place by making a marijuana weed that grows in
the UK like nettles.
-------------------------------------------------
: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round.
Extinct Jesus Dossier.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Mark (Mavis), Joshua Rackstraw,
Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri Bionic, Chris
Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris Smith, Daniel
Malbon, James Heaver and Phil Lovell. Please
join the patreon so we can afford to buy
sausages.
http://patreon.com/b3ta
