NEWSLETTER: "B3TA: BREAKING YOUR INBOX IN A VERY SPECIFIC AND LIMITED WAY"
This Week:
* SMASH ROBOTS - Singing about drugs at last
* CAT - Performs Led Zeppelin classic
* CASSETTEBOY - Makes LP and you should buy it
-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We regret our previous
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | policy of saving the web
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| and would like it to end"
B3ta e-electronic-mail 752 - 11th Sept 2020
Read this issue whilst tugging your man cock:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue752
-------------------------------------------------
: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
Other than making suspicious jam
* IMMIGRANT CAT - The Ghost of Fungus Past
writes, "Somebody on Reddit's cat meowed in a
way that seemed familiar..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* SMASH ROBOTS DANCE REMIX - your editor Rob
Manue1 writes, "Made a bit of a track out of
the old Smash robots ad."
http://b3ta.com/links/1548478
* BUY CASSETTE BOY'S ALBUM - CB writes "Before
we made mash-up videos, we made mash-up
albums. Today we've released a new version of
our favourite one, which tells the story of a
human life using samples nicked from Doctor
Who, EastEnders and loads more."
http://cassetteboy.bandcamp.com
* KIDSTRIKE - HappyToast writes, "I did a
video for a song by Jim Bob (Carter USM)"
http://b3ta.com/links/1548376
-------------------------------------------------
"Flash! Ah-ah. Saviour of the universe." We put
it to you that the 'ah-ah' bit came about
because singing "Gordon" sounded silly.
-------------------------------------------------
: BUY A SWEARY SCARF YOU CUNTS
Yes. A scarf that swear
Hebtro are now selling scarfs with swearing on
them, and they'd love suggestions for new
phrases. Rude and all made in the UK too. Buy
them now before they sell the fuck out.
https://hebtro.co/product/sweary-scarf/
-------------------------------------------------
What supermarket would Tess Daly use after she
married Sebastian Coe? Probably Waitrose as
she'd still be quite affluent.
-------------------------------------------------
: SITES IN BRIEF
Flat, slow, clicky video
* SCARCITY CREATES DESIRE - queue up to view a
web page one at a time, some people seem to be
hogging it for hours.
https://exclusive.website
* HARRODS ONLINE - 15,000 page 1912 Harrods
catalogue has been digitised. Page takes weeks
to load but it's fun seeing that you could buy
cocaine, and lark pies.
https://blog.pgdp.net/2020/08/01/harrods-for-every...
* BALL GAG - Ronnie O'Sullivan's 147 break but
every time he pots a ball John Virgo says
'Where's the cue ball going'
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* FLYING MONORAIL - This footage from 1902 is
like a vision of a sci-fi future that never
happened.
https://b3ta.com/links/A_flying_train
* AIRPORT SIM - Ambient music and airport
chatter go really well together. Wish there
was an easter egg to play some Airplane clips,
though.
http://listentothe.cloud
* THE MONTH THAT NEVER ENDS - a simple, but
effective, gag.
https://calendar2020.noj.cc
-------------------------------------------------
U2 could be a quite atmospheric instrumental
band if they just got rid of that shouty
gobshite holding them back.
-------------------------------------------------
: FESSHOLE
Your anonymous confessions, fessed up for lols
Each week we ask you to confess stuff and then
stick all your lies in one place. Here's the
best this week:
* SCHOOL - "When at school, me and my mate
took some paper with the school letterhead on.
We used it to write a letter to our other
mate's parents telling them he had been caught
wanking at school. It caused chaos between the
school and his parents but we stayed silent."
* "KAREN" - "My name is Karen but I introduce
myself as Kay now, because thanks to white,
racist, American women, my name might as well
be fucking 'Adolf'"
* DRUUUUGS - "Around 18 year ago I took a load
of ecstasy in the house alone and woke up to
discover I'd changed all the contacts in my
phone to the name 'Jeff'. Took me weeks to
sort out."
Join the 84,000 shits that have followed this
junk.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
-------------------------------------------------
How realistic is Batman: could you imagine Elon
Musk or Jeff Bezos dressing up a in a cape,
sneaking out at night and punching muggers
rather than giving them a bursary so crime
wasn't necessary?
Yes.
-------------------------------------------------
: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round.
BTW: The Land Rover Discovery was designed by
a massive Pet Shop Boys fan who named it after
his two favourite albums
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Mark (Mavis), Joshua Rackstraw,
Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri Bionic, Chris
Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris Smith, Daniel
Malbon, James Heaver and Phil Lovell. Please
join the patreon so we can afford to buy
sausages. And a special thanks to the Hebtro
gang. Buy their scarves. Link at the top.
http://patreon.com/b3ta
-------------------------------------------------
What does it say at the end of Jaws?
Fin.
