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NEWSLETTER: "B3TA: BREAKING YOUR INBOX IN A VERY SPECIFIC AND LIMITED WAY"

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This Week:
* SMASH ROBOTS - Singing about drugs at last
* CAT - Performs Led Zeppelin classic 
* CASSETTEBOY - Makes LP and you should buy it

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |  "We regret our previous
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |  policy of saving the web
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  and would like it to end"

B3ta e-electronic-mail 752 - 11th Sept 2020

Read this issue whilst tugging your man cock:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue752

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
  Other than making suspicious jam
  
  * IMMIGRANT CAT -  The Ghost of Fungus Past
  writes, "Somebody on Reddit's cat meowed in a
  way that seemed familiar..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmX0QF1H9dg

  * SMASH ROBOTS DANCE REMIX - your editor Rob
  Manue1 writes, "Made a bit of a track out of
  the old Smash robots ad." 
http://b3ta.com/links/1548478

  * BUY CASSETTE BOY'S ALBUM - CB writes "Before
  we made mash-up videos, we made mash-up
  albums. Today we've released a new version of
  our favourite one, which tells the story of a
  human life using samples nicked from Doctor
  Who, EastEnders and loads more."
http://cassetteboy.bandcamp.com

  * KIDSTRIKE - HappyToast writes, "I did a
  video for a song by Jim Bob (Carter USM)"
http://b3ta.com/links/1548376 

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"Flash! Ah-ah. Saviour of the universe." We put
it to you that the 'ah-ah' bit came about
because singing "Gordon" sounded silly.

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: BUY A SWEARY SCARF YOU CUNTS
  Yes. A scarf that swear

  Hebtro are now selling scarfs with swearing on
  them, and they'd love suggestions for new
  phrases. Rude and all made in the UK too. Buy
  them now before they sell the fuck out.
https://hebtro.co/product/sweary-scarf/

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What supermarket would Tess Daly use after she
married Sebastian Coe? Probably Waitrose as
she'd still be quite affluent.

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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Flat, slow, clicky video
  
  * SCARCITY CREATES DESIRE - queue up to view a
  web page one at a time, some people seem to be
  hogging it for hours.
https://exclusive.website
  
  * HARRODS ONLINE - 15,000 page 1912 Harrods
  catalogue has been digitised. Page takes weeks
  to load but it's fun seeing that you could buy
  cocaine, and lark pies.
https://blog.pgdp.net/2020/08/01/harrods-for-everything/

  * BALL GAG - Ronnie O'Sullivan's 147 break but
  every time he pots a ball John Virgo says
  'Where's the cue ball going' 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgYY0uyMKV8

 * FLYING MONORAIL - This footage from 1902 is
 like a vision of a sci-fi future that never
 happened. 
https://b3ta.com/links/A_flying_train

  * AIRPORT SIM - Ambient music and airport
  chatter go really well together. Wish there
  was an easter egg to play some Airplane clips,
  though.
http://listentothe.cloud

  * THE MONTH THAT NEVER ENDS - a simple, but
  effective, gag.
https://calendar2020.noj.cc

-------------------------------------------------

U2 could be a quite atmospheric instrumental
band if they just got rid of that shouty
gobshite holding them back.

-------------------------------------------------

: FESSHOLE
  Your anonymous confessions, fessed up for lols

  Each week we ask you to confess stuff and then
  stick all your lies in one place. Here's the
  best this week:

  * SCHOOL - "When at school, me and my mate
  took some paper with the school letterhead on.
  We used it to write a letter to our other
  mate's parents telling them he had been caught
  wanking at school. It caused chaos between the
  school and his parents but we stayed silent."

  * "KAREN" - "My name is Karen but I introduce
  myself as Kay now, because thanks to white,
  racist, American women, my name might as well
  be fucking 'Adolf'"

  * DRUUUUGS - "Around 18 year ago I took a load
  of ecstasy in the house alone and woke up to
  discover I'd changed all the contacts in my
  phone to the name 'Jeff'. Took me weeks to
  sort out."

  Join the 84,000 shits that have followed this
  junk. 
https://twitter.com/fesshole/

-------------------------------------------------

How realistic is Batman: could you imagine Elon
Musk or Jeff Bezos dressing up a in a cape,
sneaking out at night and punching muggers
rather than giving them a bursary so crime
wasn't necessary?

Yes.

-------------------------------------------------

: PATREON THANKS 
  We love all these people

  *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
  MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
  JAMES* *STOOBERT*

  24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
  EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
  LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
  VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
  SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
  ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH

  Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
  lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
  Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
  Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
  Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
  Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
  blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
  McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
  Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
  Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
  Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
  Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
  Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
  James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
  Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
  Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
  Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
  James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
  Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
  Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
  McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
  Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
  Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
  Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
  Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
  Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
  Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
  Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
  Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
  bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
  Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
  wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
  Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
  Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
  Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
  Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
  Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
  Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
  Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
  Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
  Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
  Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
  Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
  Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
  Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
  Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
  Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
  Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
  Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
  Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
  McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
  Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
  Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
  Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
  Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
  Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
  Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
  Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
  Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
  Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
  Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
  Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
  Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
  Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
  peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
  Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
  Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
  Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
  Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
  Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
  Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
  John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
  Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
  Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
  Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
  olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
  M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
  Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
  Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
  Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
  Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
  Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
  Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
  Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
  McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
  Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
  Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
  Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
  Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
  Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
  Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
  Kahn, Matt.

  EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round.

  BTW: The Land Rover Discovery was designed by
  a massive Pet Shop Boys fan who named it after
  his two favourite albums

  And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
  Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
  Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
  Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
  NEWER ONES: Mark (Mavis), Joshua Rackstraw,
  Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri Bionic, Chris
  Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris Smith, Daniel
  Malbon, James Heaver and Phil Lovell. Please
  join the patreon so we can afford to buy
  sausages. And a special thanks to the Hebtro
  gang. Buy their scarves. Link at the top.
http://patreon.com/b3ta

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What does it say at the end of Jaws?
Fin.

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