NEWSLETTER: "SELF-ISOLATING SINCE 1973 AND NOT BY CHOICE"
This Week:
* AI ART - For sale, at last
* FESSHOLE - Improving charity shop donations
* TEST - Are YOU going bald? SPOILER: YES!
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're barking
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | at the cars
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| ... together"
B3ta email 754 - 19th Oct 2020
Read this issue whilst huffing the air of ham:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue754
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
Other than make disco LPs about ham
>> GANksy - A.I. street artist <<
Matt Round writes, "I trained a neural network
on the work of a certain street artist and
ended up creating a dark twisted visual
genius, some of it is weirdly disturbing. You
can also buy the art and then sell it to a
Saatchi for millions." Your editor bought the
first one for £1 so hopefully that's the
retirement fund sorted out.
https://vole.wtf/ganksy/
>> Quarantine Age Kicks <<
Shardcore has made a song that sits halfway
between mad conspiracy bullshit and satire but
the Mark E Smith performance is genuinely
compelling. A confused thumbs up from us.
https://b3ta.com/links/Quarantine_Age_Kicks
>> I made these pictures move <<
Drivelsieve is doing his Terry Gilliam 2.0
shtick again and it's wonderful.
https://b3ta.com/links/I_made_these_pictures_move:...
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: BUY A SWEARY SCARF YOU SEXY PEOPLE
Gazooks! A scarf that swears!
Hebtro are now selling scarfs with swearing on
them, and they'd love suggestions for new
phrases. Rude and all made in the UK too. Buy
them now before they sell the piss out.
https://hebtro.co/product/sweary-scarf/
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What's flat and wooly? Larry the laminated.
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Flat, slow, clicky video
* WHAT YOUR WEBCAM KNOWS ABOUT YOU - it can
guess your age, your gender and find out what
else. (It thought we were 22, so we now
welcome our surveillance society future.)
https://hownormalami.eu
* 70s POP STARS KUNG FU - Stevie Nicks And
Abba's Frida Star In This Women's Self Defense
Manual
https://imgur.com/gallery/esPrlbH
* 303/808 TOY - make your own shitty acid
house in your browser. Cat nip for Gen X.
https://808303.studio
* ARE YOU GOING BALD? A webcam with an 8
second delay so that you can inspect the back
of your head and see how the bald patch is
coming along.
https://doilookweird.com
* ASK JEEVES 2.0? A search engine of old
school retro sites, yes B3ta is there, you
cheeky bastards.
https://wiby.me
* FOLK GAMES - a great thread of games people
have made up to amuse themselves, some really
interesting concepts in there, that could be
translated into novelty mobile games.
https://twitter.com/HawkDanny/status/1313881230312...
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We've just realised that when Frankie sang
"Welcome To The Pleasure Dome" the pleasure dome
was probably Holly's bell-end, rather than some
big top circus tent like I imagined when I was
10.
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions, fessed up for cheap lols
Each week we ask you to spit your lies into a
box and publish the ones that either make us
laugh or boggle:
* SEX - "My nosey bastard kids went snooping
into our closet the other day and now I have
fend off questions from them about why mummy
has a school uniform, and what school she goes
to, and when she goes. Mortifying."
* BOOKS - "Before giving away a book to a
charity shop I forge the author's signature on
it. I've written things like 'To Dave, hope
you enjoy, Geoffrey Chaucer'"
* SCRABBLE - "I've been playing online
scrabble with an old man and felt like we had
bonded over playing against each other for 6+
months but after messaging him I realised he
was a bot and I'm honestly heartbroken."
Join the 87,0000 arseholes who've typed 1.1
million words into a tiny Google form:
https://twitter.com/fesshole
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Porridge is just milky flapjacks. Change our mind.
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
Follow-ups on previous stories
* DEATH STATS - Matt Round writes, "17th
Century Death Roulette launched shortly before
pandemic hit, I looked at when its traffic
fell off a cliff and concluded the UK started
shitting itself about coronavirus on March
9th."
https://vole.wtf/death-roulette/
* WE SUGGESTED THIS IN THE LAST NEWSLETTER -
and we see someone has built one although not
a b3tan as far as we know. (Brave linking it
to his work site, but it's in Dutch so angry
MAGAs will probably be too confused to send
death threats.)
https://hastrumpdied.com
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Animal Adverts
Here's the best images from last week:
* GROUCH SAYS. "IT'S GOOD SHIT, KIDS!" - from
PedroHin
http://b3ta.com/board/11327694
* CEILING CAT IS WATCHING YOU GROUT - from
b0rk3d
http://b3ta.com/board/11327148
* AFTERSHAVE ADVERT - from razzle
http://b3ta.com/board/11327370
* See all the other images from the 'Animal
Adverts' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/animaladverts/popular/
>> This week: Artist Puns <<
Think of an artist and do a funny with their
name.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/artistpuns/popular/
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If you want to know which surname has the power
in the family, it's not the kids, it's what the
pets are registered under at the vet.
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Mark (Mavis), Joshua Rackstraw,
Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri Bionic, Chris
Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris Smith, Daniel
Malbon, James Heaver and Phil Lovell. Please
join the patreon so we can afford to buy
sausages. And a special thanks to the Hebtro
gang. Buy their scarves. Link at the top.
http://patreon.com/b3ta
