This Week: * GAME - Nun Lander * ANIM - Weebl Parody / Reader Challenge * QUIZ - Where the fuck do Abba come from? ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the __/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web ... together" B3ta email 80 - 14 Mar 2003 Read this issue in your browser: http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue80/ Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Unsub: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com ------------------------------------------------- : NUN LANDER Luna Lander remade with Nuns. Of course. Brian Mung writes - "Hi B3ta. How's tricks? I made my first game so I thought I'd send it your way. You have to land a flying nun." Wow. We love this. It's not a very hard game but it's lovely and it's funny. Go Brian. We want more stupid games from you. http://www.brianmung.com/nunlander.htm ------------------------------------------------- : WEEBL & BOB PARODY Can you do better? Jonti Picking has become rightly famous for his fantastic series of cartoons. He now has ladies, TV fame and bags of cash. And now? He wants you to do his work for him. Cheeky beggar. He's asking for animators to get in touch and guest direct episodes of his long running animation. B3ta editor Rob Manuel has got in there first and err... taken the piss. Have a look - and have a go if you think you're good enough. http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/asshat.htm ------------------------------------------------- : NORTHERN EUROPEAN QUIZ 'cause foreigners all look the same Artamnesia writes - "I made another quiz! Are they Swiss, Swedish, Danish or Dutch? You need to match the celebrity to their nationality. That Dutch thing throws me every time." Warning: It's very hard. We suggest calling some workmates over and doing it as a group. http://www.modestypanel.com/SSDorD/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK Jacko, Snoods, Kitty 1, Swear, Bush, Kitty 2 >> Jacko Game << "I was concerned that Martin Bashir's documentary destroyed some of the 'weirdness' about Michael Jackson", writes IZB, "So I'm putting it back." Ok. For those at the back. IZB has taken the basic idea from 80s arcade favourite Gravitar/Thrust and err added Jacko. Obvious really and an extremely taxing game. http://www.yeahbutisitart.com/flash/baby-balance/ >> Dogs In Snoods << Remember the snood? We didn't and so we googled it. Apparently it's an 80s fashion craze that's inexplicably retained its popularity in the canine world. Look! Dogs! Wearing stupid clothes! http://b3ta.com/features/dogs-in-snoods/ >> Hunt the Kitty Game<< "Try and find the little trapped kitty by listening out for his plaintive meows.", writes Jez, "But be quick, he might run out of air!" Think of the Hotter/Colder kids game but with kittens. Turn on your speakers else you'll not do very well. http://mysite.freeserve.com/jezturner/catgame.html >> Can You Swear in Foreign? << A few months back we featured DIYJoe's Simon Swears game. As you might imagine, it was a version of the 70s memory game with added profanity. Now DIYJoe is selflessly attempting to allow foreigners to play too. He's already made a version in Portuguese and he's looking for gutter mouthed foulness in other languages. Can you swear in another language? Eskimos have 40,000 words for snow - how many do they have for cunt? http://www.diyjoe.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/simonswears... >> Bush / Blair Political Animation << "With the current situation in the Middle East, writes Winkles, "I though I'd make some kind of a biting political satire, but I couldn't be arsed so I made this instead." Er.. We normally don't like political stuff but this is so silly that it made us laugh. http://www.winkleman.co.uk/war.html >> Stroke the Kitty Game << "I've made a new game", writes Jibbed, "I've named it Kitty Stroke. The cat needs your help. She's in dire need of some serious stroking action. Stroke that cat as if your life depended on it." TIP: The aim of the game is to follow the cat with your cursor. Great. [link deleted coz of advertising pop ups] ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA EASTER PARTY 11th April 2003 What could be better than drinking so much that you vomit on your own shoes and attempt to have fucky with a lamppost? Nothing. Nothing on Earth except for the B3ta party. Full details and map on our fantastic flyer designed by the very lovely Denise Wilton. (She'll be having a Jack Daniels and Diet Coke and it's your round.) http://www.b3ta.com/party/easter.gif ------------------------------------------------- : 15 SECONDS OF STUPID Short anims from B3ta people >> Willy Construction Kit << "This is short and crappy", writes SimonP, "but I like it." And so do we. Yay. http://www.marshallsoftware.co.nz/b3ta/simonp/will... >> Aero-bollocks << "We did this silly cartoon", type Mr.Mantlepies & Mr.Fancyteeth, "It's got balls in it." http://www.mantlepies.com/balls.html >> Endangered Birds << "I'm trying to learn flash", writes Chicago Dave "Is it funny?" Yes Dave, it is. Please do more flash stuff. http://www.limpfish.com/planes/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Homemade Tank << The prestigious B3ta Best Dad In The World Award goes to William Johns for building his son a fully powered 1/5 scale Sherman Tank. Wicked. We wish our dads built us stuff like that instead of watching cricket all day and procrastinating about painting the window sills. http://www.gizmology.net/tanks.htm >> Topless DJ << Introducing Portia Surreal - she's a marketing dream. She's beautiful and she DJs with her tits out. If B3ta ran a record label we'd sign her and give her a number 1 record. And cry when she left us for a footballer. http://www.portiasurreal.com/ >> Toddlers on Motorbikes << The latest craze sweeping Japan? We haven't got a foggiest but we do like these pictures of children on motorbikes. It looks horrifically dangerous and is probably a human rights abuse but that doesn't stop it being cool. http://members.jcom.home.ne.jp/okuchanwinds/others... >> Why not be an extra in a zombie film? << Simon Pegg - the guy from the UK comedy show Spaced - is putting together a Zombie film. His team is looking for extras to play Zombies. If you've got some free time and very bad skin then get it touch, it sounds like a lot of fun. http://snurl.com/ygo >> Japanese English Lesson << Foreign language lessons are ripe for biting satire. See those language schools wither in the blazing scorn of this gentle-hearted parody. We like the lion. Grr. http://www.americakokki.com/english.html >> Mussolini Pop Video << That Read My Lips clip with George Bush and Tony Blair has done the email rounds a lot recently. We've seen it about 40,000,000 times. This clip, featuring Mussolini, isn't quite as politically relevant, but it's still fantastic. He's our 2nd favourite 20th century dictator and it looks like he's having an absolutely brilliant time. We want to join in. http://snurl.com/wtg >> Dildo Song << How would you advertise a dildo? Probably not like this. This cheery little 1950s style video celebrates the wonders of the plastic cock. You'll be humming the song for days. As long as you remember to hum and don't sing the words too. People would spurn you. http://www.kicken.com/funnyfiles2/www.kicken.com-d... >> Arty Anagrams << Artist Scott Kim has an unusual hobby. He looks for words that can be read differently upside down. He has to use some weird fonts to get the effect to work but we guess it keeps him off the streets. http://www.scottkim.com/inversions/index.html#gallery >> Records that should never have been made << Call yourself a music lover? Then don't bother with this. Here is a collection of the worst tunes committed to vinyl. We especially liked track 8, The Slave by Buck Ritchie, a booming cautionary tale about LSD and being a hippy. Put that in your crack pipe and smoke it, you straights. http://www.danacountryman.com/coolandstrange/comp.... ------------------------------------------------- : LIFE OUTSIDE THE COMPUTER Magazines, Telly etc. * WORD MAGAZINE - newly launched UK magazine from the team behind Q & Mojo. Brilliant. It's old farts living in the present: Elvis Costello on Pop Idol, Tony Wilson on his frustrations with the Internet, "Will someone please invent money?" and Andrew Harrison loving his iPod. We liked it so much that we subscribed. * CELEBRITY FAME ACADEMY - Did you see Ruby Wax? Wow. Her Ethel Merman inspired version of Abba's Money Money Money was hilarious. If G.A.Y. doesn't book her B3ta will eat it's big gay hat. * REBORN IN THE USA - PopStars meets I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Our money's on Haydon Eshun and Gina G's great legs. Shame Mark Shaw stormed off tho. The producers should have bunged him 20k to stay on. Idiots make the best TV. ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Apocalypse Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted 'Portents of the Apocalypse': http://b3ta.com/challenge/apocalypse/ We asked B3ta boarder 'ediblevomit' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves. EdibleVomit writes - #1 "The four horsemen's reign of terror - Definitely my favourite. It made me snort for the first time since I was 11. (Mozza) http://b3ta.com/board/890985 #2 "Untitled - Very Classy indeed, one of the best quality competition entries i have seen! (Eclectech) http://b3ta.com/board/890508 #3 "This would make me think something was up - I like the simplicity of this, very nicely done, one of the few pictures to have made me spit food onto my monitor." (ducklips) http://b3ta.com/board/889850 >> This Weeks Challenge << This week, B3ta contributor Dutchbird gave us the suggestion, "Euphemisms" http://b3ta.com/challenge/euphemisms/ ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * MOBILE PHONE RACING - Steve Denton writes, "My mates like to amuse ourselves by holding mobile phone races: set them on vibrate mode put them on the table. Ring them. They vibrate and move in funny ways - some spin round in circles, others move forwards or sideways. We haven't found an overall winner yet so perhaps your readers would like to do some research, and film it?" * NEW TWIST ON BARBIE SEX - people keep submitting this stuff. Can you make it different? Maybe Ken could be bum raping Tiny Tears? * SHITLOADS OF CASH - this probably won't work but it's true. We would like lots of money. Maybe you could rob your local chemist? Or go on the game? Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David "Hot Lips" Stevenson. Links sent in by Fraser, Dan Century, Asteriod.M, The Face, Jack Dougherty, and Sharruma. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the b4ta's of mass destruction. (61627) Yay.
