NEWSLETTER: "NEWSLETTER, 21, FLASHES UNDERBOOB IN REVEALING ASCII SELFIES"
This Week:
* PHOTOSHOP - Sgt Pepper deathscape back, Back, BACK!
* VIDEO - Cassetteboy does scratchies
* INTERACTIVE - Some sort of Musk mockery
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We apologise for saving
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the web & causing the rise
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| of fascism... together"
B3ta email 840 - 02 Dec 2022
Read this issue to K West to make him to calm down:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue840
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making the usual white elephants
* THE SGT PEPPER DEATH CLOCK TOLLS FOR YOU -
each year Dr Dunno bungs out his photoshop of
everyone who has died this year, in the form of
a Sgt Pepper montage. Can you spot them all?
Whose death makes you feel like life is slipping
away from your grasp and nothing has any meaning
and everything will soon be dust? Still, no
matter, Happy Christmas readers.
https://b3ta.com/board/11382457
* CASSETTE BOY VS THE GAMBLING INDUSTRY -
Britain's favourite C90 enthusiast has put "some
shocking statistics to a catchy beat." Still,
everyone loves a cheeky flutter don't they?
http://b3ta.com/links/1596773
* MUSK-ERA TWITTER EMULATOR - Albert Semple has
been disturbed by the radical shift into shit
that Twitter has taken and written his own
version of Twitter that recreates this
experience, as he sees it. Personally, we think
the whole site has been pretty fucking insane
forever, and was hardly a communist paradise 6
months ago, but still, it's an entertaining
take:
https://albertsemple.com/TwitterEmulator/
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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
Christmas means durable stocking fillers
It's coming up to Christmas, so it's time to buy
the men in your life some durable jeans and
shirts so they look swish for the new year. Buy
lots of them too so that Hebtro don't think it's
a bad idea to keep sponsoring this terrible
newsletter. Link goes to all the new stuff, so
get gift buying.
https://hebtro.co/new/
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: FESSHOLE
Your fesses fessed up for moderate entertainment
Each week you spew bullshit into a bucket and we
share a couple for internet judgement:
* SEX - "An American girl really liked my
Scottish accent and asked me to say 'Scottish
things' to her while we had sex. I couldn't
think what to say, so just started listing
football teams. 'Raith Rovers. Partick Thistle.
Hibernian...'"
* RELATABLE - "In my late 20s I was seeing 7
different guys, they each had their own night.
It all ended when I had to see Iron Man 3 five
times in a week"
* GUILT - "My wife is 68 and riddled with
dementia. She doesn't know who our kids are
anymore, she doesn't know who her sisters are,
she barely knows who I am. But of course, OF
COURSE she still remembers that affair I had in
1994. And no, she still won't let it go."
Follow Festeringhole if you don't already, the
numbers are now 3/4 of a million. Which just
goes to show, if you really want a popular
Twitter account and are prepared to spend
several years trying to make one, you too can
achieve this pointless goal.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
But remember, do buy the book, it really is an
ideal Christmas gift for the absolute cunts in
your life.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Links your racist old bully is sharing on Friends Reunited
* SONG IMPERSONATION - Someone on TikTok has
covered Bad Guy in the style of the B-52s and it
is quite amusing as Fred B-52 really does have
that tone. If you click around there's also a
version of Toxic by that Britney.
https://www.tiktok.com/@daltondeschain/video/71595...
* LEARN SOME FACTS - Each year ex MixMag
journalist Tom Whitwell lists the things he's
learnt this year. Our fav was learning that
MrBeast makes his thumbnails before his videos,
which makes a lot of sense. Work out if the idea
is clickable first, decide if you can deliver it
second. Cynical but smart.
https://medium.com/magnetic/52-things-i-learned-in...
* BOTTY FUN - This SIMON-solving bot is
particularly lovely for its lo-fi use of doll
hands. Somehow a couple of human parts make what
could be a dull nerd project very silly and
watchable. The Tinribs or Brian & Charles school
of robotry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* FUNNYISH VIDEO - Just some dude doing a skit
about life in his expensive city that amused us
for a few moments before the darkness enveloped
us again.
https://twitter.com/carterselinger/status/15973427...
* AI PLAYLISTS - This site claims to use AI to
generate playlists based on your prompt. Not
sure why it thinks I should listen to My Old
Man's A Dustman when on the pot, but coming up
with daft prompts and being amused by the stupid
glitches are the most fun part of AI projects.
Get rid of the glitches, and AI just becomes a
boring person simulator.
https://www.naturallanguageplaylist.com/
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: FRIDAY GAME
What does stuff cost?
Can you guess what products are the most
expensive around the world? A mix of The Price
Is Right and GeoGuessr, it's bloody impossible
but still quite interesting.
https://costerly.com
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: OH AND WE SHOULD PIMP THE FESSHOLE SHOW AGAIN
December 21st, that London
Do come because your editor plans to do the show
and then hang around and chat with
b3tans/fessholians who fancy getting pissed.
Tickets are selling well, well we've sold over
70%, so book now to avoid "disappointment".
https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/come...
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Some ideas to kick you off
* POLITICAL BELL-ENDS - There's a clip with Liz
Truss fucking up, ringing a bell, and also
Jeremy Hunt, doing similar. There's probably
more if you dig. That's a project for someone,
the cursed bell that dooms politicians.
* SHAKIFY - a tool for creating Spotify
Unwrapped / Festival Posters. But it's all
Shakin' Stevens etc. Or whatever stupid prompt
you give it.
* RUNNING IN THE FAMILY, THE COMPUTER GAME - 42
levels, as you race Joseph and Emily, and the
Gould brothers, plus thumbsy himself, in this
Track & Field inspired video game fun.
Send your worst work to us, we might promo it a
bit if we're desperate:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
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Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
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Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
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Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You’re welcome - Kat)
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
- extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
Monkeon would like to say soz
What is French electronic musician Jean-Michel
Jarre's favourite time of the day? MIDI!
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/...
