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NEWSLETTER: "NEWSLETTER, 21, FLASHES UNDERBOOB IN REVEALING ASCII SELFIES"

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This Week:
* PHOTOSHOP - Sgt Pepper deathscape back, Back, BACK!
* VIDEO -  Cassetteboy does scratchies  
* INTERACTIVE - Some sort of Musk mockery
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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We apologise for saving 
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the web & causing the rise
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  of fascism... together"

B3ta email 840 - 02 Dec 2022

Read this issue to K West to make him to calm down:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue840

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
  Other than making the usual white elephants

  * THE SGT PEPPER DEATH CLOCK TOLLS FOR YOU -
  each year Dr Dunno bungs out his photoshop of
  everyone who has died this year, in the form of
  a Sgt Pepper montage. Can you spot them all?
  Whose death makes you feel like life is slipping
  away from your grasp and nothing has any meaning
  and everything will soon be dust? Still, no
  matter, Happy Christmas readers.
https://b3ta.com/board/11382457

  * CASSETTE BOY VS THE GAMBLING INDUSTRY -
  Britain's favourite C90 enthusiast has put "some
  shocking statistics to a catchy beat." Still,
  everyone loves a cheeky flutter don't they?
http://b3ta.com/links/1596773

  * MUSK-ERA TWITTER EMULATOR - Albert Semple has
  been disturbed by the radical shift into shit
  that Twitter has taken and written his own
  version of Twitter that recreates this
  experience, as he sees it. Personally, we think
  the whole site has been pretty fucking insane
  forever, and was hardly a communist paradise 6
  months ago, but still, it's an entertaining
  take:
https://albertsemple.com/TwitterEmulator/

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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
  Christmas means durable stocking fillers

  It's coming up to Christmas, so it's time to buy
  the men in your life some durable jeans and
  shirts so they look swish for the new year. Buy
  lots of them too so that Hebtro don't think it's
  a bad idea to keep sponsoring this terrible
  newsletter. Link goes to all the new stuff, so
  get gift buying.
https://hebtro.co/new/

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: FESSHOLE 
  Your fesses fessed up for moderate entertainment

  Each week you spew bullshit into a bucket and we
  share a couple for internet judgement:

  * SEX - "An American girl really liked my
  Scottish accent and asked me to say 'Scottish
  things' to her while we had sex. I couldn't
  think what to say, so just started listing
  football teams. 'Raith Rovers. Partick Thistle.
  Hibernian...'"

  * RELATABLE - "In my late 20s I was seeing 7
  different guys, they each had their own night.
  It all ended when I had to see Iron Man 3 five
  times in a week"

  * GUILT - "My wife is 68 and riddled with
  dementia. She doesn't know who our kids are
  anymore, she doesn't know who her sisters are,
  she barely knows who I am. But of course, OF
  COURSE she still remembers that affair I had in
  1994. And no, she still won't let it go."

  Follow Festeringhole if you don't already, the
  numbers are now 3/4 of a million. Which just
  goes to show, if you really want a popular
  Twitter account and are prepared to spend
  several years trying to make one, you too can
  achieve this pointless goal.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/

  But remember, do buy the book, it really is an
  ideal Christmas gift for the absolute cunts in
  your life.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...

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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Links your racist old bully is sharing on Friends Reunited 

  * SONG IMPERSONATION - Someone on TikTok has
  covered Bad Guy in the style of the B-52s and it
  is quite amusing as Fred B-52 really does have
  that tone. If you click around there's also a
  version of Toxic by that Britney.
https://www.tiktok.com/@daltondeschain/video/71595...

  * LEARN SOME FACTS - Each year ex MixMag
  journalist Tom Whitwell lists the things he's
  learnt this year. Our fav was learning that
  MrBeast makes his thumbnails before his videos,
  which makes a lot of sense. Work out if the idea
  is clickable first, decide if you can deliver it
  second. Cynical but smart.
https://medium.com/magnetic/52-things-i-learned-in... 

  * BOTTY FUN - This SIMON-solving bot is
  particularly lovely for its lo-fi use of doll
  hands. Somehow a couple of human parts make what
  could be a dull nerd project very silly and
  watchable. The Tinribs or Brian & Charles school
  of robotry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch

  * FUNNYISH VIDEO - Just some dude doing a skit
  about life in his expensive city that amused us
  for a few moments before the darkness enveloped
  us again.
https://twitter.com/carterselinger/status/15973427...

  * AI PLAYLISTS - This site claims to use AI to
  generate playlists based on your prompt. Not
  sure why it thinks I should listen to My Old
  Man's A Dustman when on the pot, but coming up
  with daft prompts and being amused by the stupid
  glitches are the most fun part of AI projects.
  Get rid of the glitches, and AI just becomes a
  boring person simulator.
https://www.naturallanguageplaylist.com/

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: FRIDAY GAME
  What does stuff cost?

  Can you guess what products are the most
  expensive around the world? A mix of The Price
  Is Right and GeoGuessr, it's bloody impossible
  but still quite interesting.
https://costerly.com

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: OH AND WE SHOULD PIMP THE FESSHOLE SHOW AGAIN
  December 21st, that London

  Do come because your editor plans to do the show
  and then hang around and chat with
  b3tans/fessholians who fancy getting pissed.
  Tickets are selling well, well we've sold over
  70%, so book now to avoid "disappointment". 
https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/come...

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
  Some ideas to kick you off

  * POLITICAL BELL-ENDS - There's a clip with Liz
  Truss fucking up, ringing a bell, and also
  Jeremy Hunt, doing similar. There's probably
  more if you dig. That's a project for someone,
  the cursed bell that dooms politicians.

  * SHAKIFY - a tool for creating Spotify
  Unwrapped / Festival Posters. But it's all
  Shakin' Stevens etc. Or whatever stupid prompt
  you give it.

  * RUNNING IN THE FAMILY, THE COMPUTER GAME - 42
  levels, as you race Joseph and Emily, and the
  Gould brothers, plus thumbsy himself, in this
  Track & Field inspired video game fun.

  Send your worst work to us, we might promo it a
  bit if we're desperate:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: PATREON THANKS 
  We love all these people. Almost romantically.

  *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
  MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
  JAMES* *STOOBERT*

  24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
  EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
  LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
  VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
  SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
  ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH

  Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
  lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
  Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
  Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
  Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
  Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
  blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
  Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
  Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
  Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
  Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
  Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
  H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
  Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
  Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
  Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
  Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
  Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
  Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
  McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
  Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
  Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
  Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
  Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
  Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
  Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
  mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
  OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
  Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
  Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
  pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
  Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
  RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
  sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
  McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
  Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
  Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
  Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
  Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
  Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
  Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
  Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
  Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
  Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
  Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
  James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
  Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
  Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
  Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
  Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
  Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
  Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
  Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
  Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
  Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
  Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
  Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
  Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
  STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
  Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
  Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
  Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
  Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
  Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
  Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
  Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
  Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
  Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
  Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
  FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
  Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
  Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
  Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
  madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
  Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
  Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
  Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
  Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
  Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
  Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
  Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
  Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
  Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
  Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
  Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
  Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.

  EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
  additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
  help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
  by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You’re welcome - Kat)

  And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
  Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
  Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
  Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
  NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
  Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
  Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
  Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
  Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
  Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
  Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
  Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
  love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
  - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
  Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
  Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
  and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
  McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
  Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
  PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
  Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
  the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
  to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
  appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
  Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
  Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
  Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
  YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
  Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
  you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
  Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx.

  And do please donate as you get occasional
  "bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

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: I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
  Monkeon would like to say soz

  What is French electronic musician Jean-Michel
  Jarre's favourite time of the day? MIDI!
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/...

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