NEWSLETTER: "YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO 'I LOVE HORSES' MAGAZINE IS CONFIRMED"
This Week:
* CHALLENGE - Pop star jobs (results)
* TERRY HALL - Remembered
* EGGPOD - celebrates five years of broadpodding
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're counting our toes
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | & fingers to make sure
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| we're not AI... together"
B3ta email 844 - 13 Jan 2023
Read this issue pretending to be Michael Winner:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue844
Subscribe: https://b3ta.com/subscribe/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making their parents despair
* EGGPOD CELEBRATES FIVE YEARS - Chris Shaw's
podcast, launched in this very newsletter with
your editor as the first guest, is celebrating
five years of broadcasting Beatles pods into
your brain holes. This week is a very special
episode where the BBC's Samira Ahmed takes over
the multitrack tape recorder to interview Chris
about his journey to success.
https://iamtheeggpod.com/2023/01/13/i-am-the-eggpo...
* TERRY HALL REMEMBERED - Merkinhead has made a
special(s) tribute to the much missed Fun Boy
Three singer Terry Hall, based around misreading
most of his lyrics.
https://b3ta.com/links/A_Special_Tribute
* AI ART CAN'T DO HANDS - rob-frankosonic
writes, "we've set up a Twitter to celebrate how
the machines aren't taking over just yet." Give
it five years, and five thumbs.
https://twitter.com/cantdohands
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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
Go on, buy some lovely clothes
Thank you to Hebtro for their continued
sponsorship of B3ta and Fesshole through the
years, it's really helped keep the lights on in
our sinister bunker where we plan world
domination and weak lols. Do check out their
range of new clothes for 2023, there's loads of
great stuff that's ideal for presents, and also
to keep you toasty warm this winter.
https://hebtro.co/new/
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: FESSHOLE
You confessions fessed up for cheap likes
Each week you type some fibs into a Google form
and we pick a few to tweet to 838,000 people who
then post piss poor John Peel memes in the
replies. Our favs this week:
* RELATABLE - "My wife is worried I'm unwell
because I was off my food. Truth is I drank a
pint of custard straight out of the carton about
half an hour before dinner was ready."
* WHOLESOME - "In Year 6, my friend and I got
sent to the headteacher for playing with LEGO
rather than doing our schoolwork. We were told
to take the LEGO model with us. Head assumed our
teacher was proud of the model we'd built and
gave us some gold stars instead of telling us
off."
* BEST SERVED COLD - "While fighting, one of my
children broke a window and 20 years later they
still haven't confessed who did it. They don't
know I have video from a security camera and I'm
planning to reveal it in the perpetrator's
wedding."
Follow this and get 16 confessions a day on our
Ceefax page:
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
Do buy the book as it's only £6.49, less than
the price of a coffee, assuming you're being
ripped off for coffee.
https://amzn.to/3EQU6wb
* FESSHOLE LIVE, LEICESTER COMEDY FESTIVAL, 11TH
FEB - The Fesshole Roadshow is coming to the
largest settlement in the East Midlands. Be
there.
https://comedy-festival.co.uk/event/fesshole-live/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
May not work on a WAP phone
* HASTA LA VISTA, BLOBBY - so you want to see Mr
Blobby inside the film Terminator 2? You're in
luck.
https://twitter.com/MattHighton/status/16131558425...
* THIS IS NOT FINE - It's ten years since the
cartoonist who made the 'this is fine' meme
slipped it into the world.
https://twitter.com/kcgreenn/status/16135836898704...
* PLAGIARISM IS THE NEW BLACK - This designer
was so fed up with his snazzy new portfolio
being copied that he set up an alternate version
to shame plagiarists. A potential 2023 Webby
Awards winner in the Snarky category.
https://copydennis.com
* WHERE'S WALLY FOR PROOFREADERS - Can you spot
the ten errors in The Grauniad article?
Considering that The Guardian is famous for its
typos, we're assuming that there's a potential
bug when this game chooses an article that
already contains misprints.
https://10typosgame.com
* FUN GOLF GAME - At last, a mixture of
gardening and golf. The golf side is really
relaxing due to some lovely physics and, to be
honest, we'd rather play with just that bit of
the game as a simple stress toy and not have to
worry about the more taxing gardening elements.
https://torcado.itch.io/grow-golf
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Pop Star Jobs
Here's the best images from last week:
* Peter Gabriel's job - thanks sivle weathercock
https://b3ta.com/board/11384614
* MC Hammer's job - thanks MF Doom
https://b3ta.com/board/11384978
* Yaz's job - thanks Dick Wonder
https://b3ta.com/board/11385211
* See all the other images from the 'Pop Star
Jobs' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/popstarjobs/popular
>> This week: DC Thomson Universe <<
DC comics have their massive film franchise, why
can't DC Thomson, the UK home of The Dandy,
Beano, Battle, Bunty and many more publications.
Give Roger the Dodger and friends the Hollywood
blockbuster treatment.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/dcthomsonuniverse/popula...
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
Follow ups on old stories
* NORA BATTY LINE - Monkeon points out, "And if
you want a what happened next, Broken TV have
listened to the newsletter and updated their
Meldrew Point article to contain Last Of The
Summer Wine characters, so you can now find out
that you're older than Nora Batty."
https://brokentv.uk/2023/01/01/the-mega-meldrew-po...
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Ideas to kick you off
* STUPID DOMAIN NAMES - Matt Round wants you to
register stopormy.mom and display the requisite
image of Sylvester Stallone and Estelle Getty.
* THE SPEAKING CLOG - phone this up and it goes
'hurdy gurdy hurdy gurdy, the time is three o'
clog"
* REACT VIDEO EDITS - take one of those stupid
videos where people hear some beautiful song for
the first time and get really emotional but swap
in Tetris by Dr Spin.
Send your projects to the Magic Donkey:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
Oh, a bonus idea, we would like to see a [NOT
HAMSTER] DANCE GENERATOR - scrape dancing gifs
off Geocities, sped up music, refresh until
something makes you laugh and share.
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You're welcome - Kat)
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
- extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: AH FUCK IT, BONUS FESSHOLE
Once more into the breach
"Getting out of shower, decided wife should be
greeted with a helicopter / spinning dick dance
as she walked in. Only it was our 12 y/o
daughter. I don't think we can ever speak again"
