we love the web
email us
NEWSLETTER: "YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO 'I LOVE HORSES' MAGAZINE IS CONFIRMED"

next issue »
« previous issue

This Week:
* CHALLENGE - Pop star jobs (results)
* TERRY HALL - Remembered
* EGGPOD - celebrates five years of broadpodding
-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're counting our toes
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ | & fingers to make sure
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| we're not AI... together"

B3ta email 844 - 13 Jan 2023

Read this issue pretending to be Michael Winner:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue844

Subscribe: https://b3ta.com/subscribe/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
  Other than making their parents despair

  * EGGPOD CELEBRATES FIVE YEARS - Chris Shaw's
  podcast, launched in this very newsletter with
  your editor as the first guest, is celebrating
  five years of broadcasting Beatles pods into
  your brain holes. This week is a very special
  episode where the BBC's Samira Ahmed takes over
  the multitrack tape recorder to interview Chris
  about his journey to success.
https://iamtheeggpod.com/2023/01/13/i-am-the-eggpo...

  * TERRY HALL REMEMBERED - Merkinhead has made a
  special(s) tribute to the much missed Fun Boy
  Three singer Terry Hall, based around misreading
  most of his lyrics.
https://b3ta.com/links/A_Special_Tribute

  * AI ART CAN'T DO HANDS - rob-frankosonic
  writes, "we've set up a Twitter to celebrate how
  the machines aren't taking over just yet." Give
  it five years, and five thumbs.
https://twitter.com/cantdohands

-------------------------------------------------

: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
  Go on, buy some lovely clothes

  Thank you to Hebtro for their continued
  sponsorship of B3ta and Fesshole through the
  years, it's really helped keep the lights on in
  our sinister bunker where we plan world
  domination and weak lols. Do check out their
  range of new clothes for 2023, there's loads of
  great stuff that's ideal for presents, and also
  to keep you toasty warm this winter.
https://hebtro.co/new/

-------------------------------------------------

: FESSHOLE 
  You confessions fessed up for cheap likes

  Each week you type some fibs into a Google form
  and we pick a few to tweet to 838,000 people who
  then post piss poor John Peel memes in the
  replies. Our favs this week:

  * RELATABLE - "My wife is worried I'm unwell
  because I was off my food. Truth is I drank a
  pint of custard straight out of the carton about
  half an hour before dinner was ready."

  * WHOLESOME - "In Year 6, my friend and I got
  sent to the headteacher for playing with LEGO
  rather than doing our schoolwork. We were told
  to take the LEGO model with us. Head assumed our
  teacher was proud of the model we'd built and
  gave us some gold stars instead of telling us
  off."

  * BEST SERVED COLD - "While fighting, one of my
  children broke a window and 20 years later they
  still haven't confessed who did it. They don't
  know I have video from a security camera and I'm
  planning to reveal it in the perpetrator's
  wedding."

  Follow this and get 16 confessions a day on our
  Ceefax page:
https://twitter.com/fesshole/

  Do buy the book as it's only £6.49, less than
  the price of a coffee, assuming you're being
  ripped off for coffee.
https://amzn.to/3EQU6wb

  * FESSHOLE LIVE, LEICESTER COMEDY FESTIVAL, 11TH
  FEB - The Fesshole Roadshow is coming to the
  largest settlement in the East Midlands. Be
  there.
https://comedy-festival.co.uk/event/fesshole-live/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
  May not work on a WAP phone 

  * HASTA LA VISTA, BLOBBY - so you want to see Mr
  Blobby inside the film Terminator 2? You're in
  luck.
https://twitter.com/MattHighton/status/16131558425...

  * THIS IS NOT FINE - It's ten years since the
  cartoonist who made the 'this is fine' meme
  slipped it into the world.
https://twitter.com/kcgreenn/status/16135836898704...

  * PLAGIARISM IS THE NEW BLACK - This designer
  was so fed up with his snazzy new portfolio
  being copied that he set up an alternate version
  to shame plagiarists. A potential 2023 Webby
  Awards winner in the Snarky category.
https://copydennis.com

  * WHERE'S WALLY FOR PROOFREADERS - Can you spot
  the ten errors in The Grauniad article? 
  Considering that The Guardian is famous for its
  typos, we're assuming that there's a potential
  bug when this game chooses an article that
  already contains misprints.
https://10typosgame.com

  * FUN GOLF GAME - At last, a mixture of
  gardening and golf.  The golf side is really
  relaxing due to some lovely physics and, to be
  honest, we'd rather play with just that bit of
  the game as a simple stress toy and not have to
  worry about the more taxing gardening elements.
https://torcado.itch.io/grow-golf

-------------------------------------------------

: IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Pop Star Jobs

  Here's the best images from last week:

  * Peter Gabriel's job - thanks sivle weathercock
https://b3ta.com/board/11384614

  * MC Hammer's job - thanks MF Doom
https://b3ta.com/board/11384978

  * Yaz's job - thanks Dick Wonder
https://b3ta.com/board/11385211

  * See all the other images from the 'Pop Star
  Jobs' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/popstarjobs/popular

  >> This week: DC Thomson Universe <<
  DC comics have their massive film franchise, why
  can't DC Thomson, the UK home of The Dandy,
  Beano, Battle, Bunty and many more publications.
  Give Roger the Dodger and friends the Hollywood
  blockbuster treatment.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/dcthomsonuniverse/popula...

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
  Follow ups on old stories

  * NORA BATTY LINE - Monkeon points out, "And if
  you want a what happened next, Broken TV have
  listened to the newsletter and updated their
  Meldrew Point article to contain Last Of The
  Summer Wine characters, so you can now find out
  that you're older than Nora Batty."
https://brokentv.uk/2023/01/01/the-mega-meldrew-po...

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
  Ideas to kick you off

  * STUPID DOMAIN NAMES - Matt Round wants you to
  register stopormy.mom and display the requisite
  image of Sylvester Stallone and Estelle Getty.

  * THE SPEAKING CLOG - phone this up and it goes
  'hurdy gurdy hurdy gurdy, the time is three o'
  clog"

  * REACT VIDEO EDITS - take one of those stupid
  videos where people hear some beautiful song for
  the first time and get really emotional but swap
  in Tetris by Dr Spin.

  Send your projects to the Magic Donkey:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/

  Oh, a bonus idea, we would like to see a [NOT
  HAMSTER] DANCE GENERATOR - scrape dancing gifs
  off Geocities, sped up music, refresh until
  something makes you laugh and share.

-------------------------------------------------

: PATREON THANKS 
  We love all these people. Almost romantically.

  *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
  MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
  JAMES* *STOOBERT*

  24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
  EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
  LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
  VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
  SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
  ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH

  Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
  lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
  Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
  Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
  Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
  Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
  blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
  Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
  Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
  Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
  Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
  Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
  H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
  Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
  Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
  Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
  Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
  Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
  Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
  McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
  Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
  Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
  Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
  Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
  Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
  Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
  mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
  OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
  Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
  Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
  pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
  Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
  RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
  sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
  McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
  Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
  Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
  Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
  Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
  Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
  Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
  Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
  Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
  Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
  Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
  James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
  Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
  Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
  Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
  Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
  Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
  Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
  Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
  Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
  Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
  Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
  Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
  Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
  STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
  Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
  Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
  Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
  Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
  Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
  Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
  Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
  Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
  Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
  Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
  FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
  Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
  Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
  Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
  madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
  Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
  Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
  Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
  Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
  Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
  Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
  Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
  Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
  Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
  Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
  Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
  Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.

  EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
  additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
  help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
  by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You're welcome - Kat)

  And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
  Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
  Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
  Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
  NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
  Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
  Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
  Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
  Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
  Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
  Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
  Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
  love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
  - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
  Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
  Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
  and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
  McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
  Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
  PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
  Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
  the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
  to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
  appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
  Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
  Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
  Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
  YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
  Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
  you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
  Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx.

  And do please donate as you get occasional
  "bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

-------------------------------------------------

: AH FUCK IT, BONUS FESSHOLE
  Once more into the breach

  "Getting out of shower, decided wife should be
  greeted with a helicopter / spinning dick dance
  as she walked in. Only it was our 12 y/o
  daughter. I don't think we can ever speak again"

next issue »
« previous issue