I've never been to Disneyland, and now probably never will...
After our honeymoon, for the first few years of our marriage, whenever the subject of holidays arose, the present Mrs Pooflake would always mutter about 'Ooh we can't afford it', or 'Ooh we've got better things to spend our money on'.

Like the dutiful (ie spineless) husband I was, I would reply 'OK'.

Over time, our situation improved and we had kids. So I would say 'We can afford it now, let's go to (random foreign holiday destination). It'll be great!'

She would reply 'Ooh no, lets not deny them the kind of holidays we had when we were kids. Let's get a caravan in Cornwall'

Like the dutiful husband etc...

As the years went on, the excuses kept coming, and because I am as diabolically thick as a Welshman's cock, I never got it...

A few years ago, I got a high paying job and thought 'That's IT!' I said: 'Bollocks to how much it costs, we can afford it. The flakelets have had enough time camping and caravaning - They've never left the fucking country and they're the right age - we're going to motherfucking DISNEYLAND BABY!!'

TPMPF said 'Ooh we...'

This time I cut her off. 'What is your fucking problem with going abroad?' I questioned gently.

It was then that she told me of her crushing fear of flying which started pretty badly (she kept it secret during the honeymoon but was a tightly wound mess apparently) but then it was amped up to a million after 911. She successfully blagged me for over 15 years. Now, our flakelets are bloody teenagers who think the idea of going to Disneyland is 'Meh'.

I missed my chance.

So cheers, you terrorist cunts. Not just happy with killing fuckers, you also ruined my holiday plans for the last 15 years or so, and probably the rest of my life going forward.

Yes, it's all about me...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 30 May 2017, 15:33, Reply)