A roasted pea
There are a couple of people on here who know me IRL. WE have a mate called Gerry (but, for the purposes of this week's question, read Alan for Gerry). A lovely man, but the kind of guy where the eyes don't quite line up with the holes - Y'know, the kind of guy where reality and normality are just things that happen to other people.
Gerry is known as 'The late Gerry'. He's not dead, just late. For FUCKING EVERYTHING. There is a concept in the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy books of the 'reciprinverexcluson' a number or thing which is everything other than itself. THAT's Gerry's idea of time. If he tells you he'll 'be there at two' that's the only time he WILL NOT be there, the universe would implode if Gerry was actually on time. At his last milestone birthday he got, as presents, fifteen alarm clocks and twelve wristwatches (three of them from me).
He didn't get the hint.
A few weeks ago he arranged (at about 11 a:m) to meet Pooflake at the pub to get his laptop sorted out. Pooflake informed him that he HAD TO BE GONE BY 4 - not a nanosecond later. What time did Gerry turn up?
10 to 4.
And then proceeded to get the hump that Pooflake wouldn't stay after 4.

I love the guy but how much of a bellend do you have to be to have no concept of time and no respect for other people's commitments at over 50 years of age?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 19:11, 1 reply)

a sphincter says what?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 21:28, closed)