The Bus Bet
Me and my mate Dave were watching one of those compilation shows on TV where they show old feats of derring-doo, sword swallowing and the like, when one came on about insane bike jumps. It was of some fella jumping over 15 buses on his bike.
Dave turned to me and said "I bet you 50 quid that I could jump over 15 bikes with a bus."
"Pah! Ridiculous!" quoth I, then I thought fuck it, he'll never be arsed to try and do it, let alone succeed, "You're on!" I roared, saluted him, left and thought nothing more of it for a week.
The following saturday my mobile rang, it was Dave growling down the phone "Get your arse to the playing fields. Bring me my 50 quid" and hung up. I swiftly pocketed the cash and made my way to the playing fields where the first thing I saw was a massive ramp with a fucking big, red double decjer bus at the top. My eyes spanned down the ramp and spread in front of it in almost military fashion were 15 bikes, evenly spaced 3 feet apart.
I whistled in appreciation at the stationary spectacle in front of me as Dave approached. "Alright?" he said "It's all set up. I'm going up there to the bus now, when I come down I want that 50 quid, well, I need that 50 quid. This has cost me a fucking fortune and a shitload of favours to pull off. Gary in work sorted out all the relevant angles and speed bollocks, all I've gotta do is get the bus to at least 65 before going off the end of the ramp, keep it straight and I'm laughing. See you in bit."
I obliged and wished him luck, genuinely looking forward to seeing him sail over all those bikes on his borrowed bus.
He climbed aboard and started the engine, then finally pulled off and hurtled down this ramp going faster and faster before flying through the air and passing over the first few bikes whilse still arcing quite gracefully into the air.
He passed over 5...6...7
And kept going, 8...9...10
"Fuck me" I thought out loud, "He's going to do it!"
11...12, then suddenly...
*CRASH*
His bus had crashed down onto the thirteenth bike, so close to his goal. I ran over to the twisted metal wreckage and got there just as he flopped out of the cab.
"Mate what the fuck happened, you were going perfectly! Then you just fell from the air like a stone with cement shoes!"
"I know" he gasped, "Some cunt rang the fucking bell"



I'm so so sorry. (not)
(Formaly Over say's hello, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 16:53, 1 reply)

I don't know if it's the beer
But that's the funnies thing I've read in weeks. Click!
(DigitalRaven will have to make do with gin, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 23:17, closed)