Poundstretcher incites vermin
No, not the customers, well, not 'just' the customers.

I do love the thrill of buying cheap shit. If you consider it disposable anyway, you're often surprised by the occasional gem of an item. Hence, I was browsing said tat trader and noticed some remarkably cheap bird feeders (fat/seed balls in net bag thingies, about 12 for £1.50 or something).

Thinking of my baby daughters love of ornithology, I snaffled the bargainous child entertainment. I hung two in my tree and they indeed had the desired bird-attracting qualities. I promptly forgot about the remaining 10 that were under the kitchen sink.

In November, I was searching for some other item in the cupboard when I noticed a collecton of detritus behind some rarely used bottles/cans. Fucking mice. The sneaky little bastards had decided that living in the surrounding fields and undergrowth was unsuitable to their refined 21st century mouse tastes and had taken up residence under my kitchen floor to gain full advantage of free central heating and a permanent lardy seed buffet. Cunts.

They must have been somewhat surprised when the chocolate dessert course of their free feed came with a sting in the tail, or rather a spring loaded steel bar across the neck. That's the impression I got each time I heard one rattling around in its death throes anyway.

Moral of the story: Shopping at Poundstretcher gives you mice.

Sincere apologies for length.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 12:12, 5 replies)

*click*
round our way, they call Poundstretcher "Pundies"
(JasperSinister is offering two tickets to the gun show, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 12:23, closed)

The place amazes me
They have stock that's entirely suitable for poundland, but the audacity to charge (slightly) higher prices for it!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 12:29, closed)

Also...
... do you not think 'Poundstretcher' sounds like a Goatse-esque sex act?

or is that just me?
(JasperSinister is offering two tickets to the gun show, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 12:42, closed)

No, that's just you!
My wife despairs at my guttural humour and ability to turn almost anything into filthy innuendo (average b3tan I suppose) but that is beyond even me!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 14:13, closed)

or you could have kept the seed balls in a tin
and not had mice

see last week's compo
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 15:03, closed)