Cheap TatOneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."
Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.
What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?
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chthonic, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
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Crap coatWas bought for me
About the time when I was 16 (a long time ago) and it was coming up to Christmas, my Dad asked me what I'd like to receive. I really needed a warm jacket as the flimsy thing I already had (another cheap piece of tat bought by my Mum- my parents were already long divorced by this time) didn't really protect me from either the rain or the cold. So I asked for a winter jacket, knowing that my Dad was making a decent living and his new missis was worth loadsamoney.
So it somes to Christmas morning and I of course know what I've got. I get to open my present in front of my Dad's side of the family and his missis' weird kids, thinking it's going to be an ultra-warm Timberland or Henri Lloyd (this is before those brands became wholly appropriated by chavscum). It turns out to be a crappy probably-less-than-£10 job from Tradex, which my Dad was at the time recommending to all his friends (all of whom have since vanished) as a revelation (they'd recently opened one of their sheds nearby). I had to feign gratitude and go "wow, thanks" as I realise what a load of crap I've got, and then watch as they open the presents I've worked so hard to earn for them (okay most of those were cheap but I was only in the sixth form and had only recently started my first ever paying job other than the paper round).
The coat started to rip at the shoulders after a week, weighed a ton due to probably being lined with the innards of mattresses from some landfill site, and when it rained bled dye onto whatever else you had on. I ended up using it in my job pushing trolleys round Moronsons car park after my company-branded and equally tat works jacket got stolen. In one rain shower (which I endured whilst wearing the bloody thing and pushing those godforsaken trolleys) the coat soaked up so much water that it took about five days to dry out on the radiator (though it was my Dad's radiator so probably wasn't turned up to its maximum. Was warmer than my Mum's house though where we used to wake up with ice on the windows INSIDE the house- this was the 1990s). Eventually the weather warmed up and I didn't need it any more.
Come the next winter, it was still hanging around, but rather than wear it again I threw it on the November 5th bonfire and bought my own. My Dad usually buys me alcohol at Christmas now, 'cos he thinks I'm an alcoholic. He's probably tight. I mean right.
(, Sun 6 Jan 2008, 23:37, Reply)
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