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This is a question Cheap Tat

OneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."

Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.

What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
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Working on a big outdoor arts event in birmingham, about 15 years ago, I set out to find some lunch for my crew. It was sunday and everywhere around the site was shut. Kept looking and finally found a little corner shop open.

All I could get my hands on was a sorry assortment of biscuits, sweets and crisps. All were mysterious crap brands. One thing that caught my eye was packets of 'Shockers' "Four licorice flavour gumballs, which ones the shocker" Bought a packet each for everyones desert.

Back at base after our hearty meal our game of gumball russian roulette begins.

Taking it in turns to chomp on the gumballs we speculate on what the shock might be

Could it maybe be really hot?
Or really sour?
Oh hang on, has it made my tongue blue?

Three gumballs gone, one left in the packet and so far no shocks.

I bite into it and immediately start to retch uncontrollably

Squinting at the packet I discover that the mystery ingredient is.... Ammonia. Like biting into one of the bleach blocks you get in urinals. Well I have to confess I didn't see that coming, that was indeed quite a shock.

Never saw them on the shelves again either
(, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 19:11, 3 replies)
is extremely nasty stuff- I'm amazed that they were allowed to be sold at all!
(, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 19:42, closed)
Sound like legendary sweets! If they can be classed as such. Like those 'Toxic Waste' sweets but simply dangerous instead of really sour...
(, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 0:01, closed)
Sounds like something out of that Monty Python sketch
You know, this one:

Praline: ...What's this one, 'spring surprise'?

Milton: Ah - now, that's our speciality - covered with darkest creamy chocolate. When you pop it in your mouth steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through-both cheeks.

Praline: Well where's the pleasure in that? If people place a nice chocky in their mouth, they don't want their cheeks pierced.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 8:56, closed)

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