Don't let the train take the strain
Many years ago, I was sitting at some random station in North London for what seemed like hours. Then I realised that it WAS hours. According to the very rare staff member there had been an 'incident'. Don't you just love euphemisms?

As we eventually chuffed off, we saw the 'incident'. The front of the other train looked like it had been twatted with God's Sledgehammer, everyone assumed it had hit another train or something...

Nope. Seems some poor sod had attempted to self-admit to the local mentalist ward and had been told to see his GP on Monday. He promptly trotted off and lobbed himself in front of the train when it was doing about 70.

God knows what state the driver was left in 'cos theres no way in the world a few hundred tons of train is going to stop before hitting the jumper. He would have had to sit there with the brakes on full, sliding towards the soon to be deceased and be able to do the sum total of fuck all about it. Nice.

As for the jumper, the word 'bits' is appropriate.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 13:55, 3 replies)

Trains
My mates Uncle used to drive trains. 'Apparently' they werent allowed to stop for people on the tracks as they would never be able to stop in time anyway (or some bullshit excuse). I think he ploughed through a good couple of suicidalists....
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 14:30, closed)

That says volumes
about the NHS' mental health policies. You're only allowed to lose your marbles Mon-Fri, 9-5:30, half day Weds.
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 14:44, closed)

@Slocker
Actually, that makes sense...they can't stop in time anyway, and slamming on the brakes may cause accidents and injuries for the passengers suddenly thrown forward.

Cold logic. Makes sense...but still kinda creepy isn't it?
(Musuko, Fri 29 Feb 2008, 13:36, closed)