My Talking Book
During a Pride festival last year I completely lost my voice due to too much shouting from a float and having sung in two shows just beforehand. I couldn't make a sound at all.

So a friend bought me a nicely bound blank book to "speak" in. It was fantastic, it was actually really good fun having to get poeple to read everything and people wanted to join in and write things in it. I didn't get my voice back for three days so it recorded the course of my conversations over that time. Now, Pride being basically a huge patry and excuse to get mashed from morning to night for a weekend, you could tell the progress of my diminishing sobriety (and occassionally patience). I quite often look back into it if I fancy a laugh. Much of it I don't remember writing. Here is a fairly representative synopsis of some of it:

"20 Marlborio Lights Please"
"Pint of carling please"
"Thought you were going to the Queens Arms"
"Where the fuck is Andrew?"
"Brighton"
"No I'm not deaf, I've lost my voice"
"I can't fucking lipread just cos I can't speak!!"
"Gambia"
"No you can't, it's MY book"
"I don't try to borrow your larynx do i?"
"20 Marlborio Lights Please"
"thanks"
"about 30?"
"wanker"
"singing too much"
"can't do sign language"
"type of dog"
"8"

(writing gets scribblier and scribblier)
"f U cKKK OOfff"
"is your pill working yet?"
"it's open til 6am"
"i'm going home i'm pissed"
"pint of carling mate" (with a few 'repeat' circles around it)
"he's a cunt and I don't like him"
"i'm pissed see you tommorrow"
"arsehole"
"blue"
"look at that arse"
"hello (actually) i'm writing in your book"
"mine get off"
"!"
"carling"
"can you walk me home i feel ill"
( Actually i was skiving on, Tue 6 Feb 2007, 17:20, Reply)