Becoming an adult (more precisely a parent)
and discovering it isn't half so much fun as I thought it would be ....

When I was a child, it appeared that my parents had it made. Easy street. No-one telling them when to get up, when to go to bed, when to clean their teeth, what to wear, what to eat, the list went on. It looked, from my perspective, to be the absolute dream.

Then I grew up myself. Eventually. I left school, I got a job. I had to be there at a certain time, wear a certain type of clothing. Could only afford to eat in the staff canteen, with a whole two choices each day. Mmmmmmm. But still, I did get paid. Not much, and even less after I'd paid mum my dig money, bought a bus pass and put money by for a month's lunches.

Suddenly, being an adult seemed a bit less fun. At that age I was still too young to drink, and didn't even have the consolation of alcohol.

Time passed, and I left home. Finally, I was a proper "grown up", married and everything. For the first few years, before having the kids, being an adult was finally an absolute blast. We had good jobs, spare cash, a nice flat near the town and a fabby social life.

Now as a parent, I can see that my girls think being an adult is such fun. I want to tell them that constantly nagging two small people into getting up, or going to bed, getting dressed, eating their meals, cleaning their teeth, doing their homework, the whole shebang, isn't half the fun-fest they think it is. But I won't tell them. I'll just wait til they're in my flip-flops and smile smugly.

Don't get me wrong, I do love having kids. They are worth the effort, honestly. I have to tell them that, or I could end up in a really really horrible nursing home.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:43, 6 replies)

on adulthood
I used to think being an adult would be incredible - and bits of it are - but I never believed my mum when she told me wasn't that great, and that being a child was much simpler. I've since started telling my wee brother to enjoy being a child, and he doesn't believe me. I think it's built into us to look forward to the next step. I can't wait to have kids, even though I'm sure it'll be mainly hard work.
oh well :-)
( ascorbate, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:48, closed)

Seriously, I wouldn't be without them
we have a huge amount of fun, they change and grow and develop daily, and I really enjoy their company. But yes, kids are hard work.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:50, closed)

apologies if this sounds maudlin
but it's something I think fairly often...

as animals, we are made so that good things feel good and bad things feel bad right?

with this in mind, I think we as a civilisation have gone so badly wrong it's ridiculous.

I probably have more fun than a lot of people, but still I spend most of my time at work, bored at best, and for what?

we need to go back to the time where we spent more time enjoying ourselves than working so we are able to enjoy ourselves.

if the purpose of life isn't to be happy, smiling and laughing then what is it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 15:53, closed)

@Vipros
I hear ya, man. Especially when there are deadlines and the shit HAS to get done or there will be liquidated damages, etc...

So I have a different philosophy now: I work to live, not vice versa.

When I walk out the door from the office, work STAYS there. When I go home in the evening, I (sometimes) do something fun, like have a fire in the outdoor fireplace with a really good beer in hand. On the weekends? Fuck cutting the lawn or doing laundry- we go for a day trip to the mountains, or go hang out on a rock at the river.

No, I can't do this all of the time, but I do it enough to keep it in perspective. My job pays my bills so I can go do the things I'd rather be doing.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:19, closed)

Loon
couldn't agree more

I wouldn't say that most people live to work, but they certainly don't seem to be as concerned as I am about only working to live.

we get this bollocks about a career spouted at us. I don't want a career. being an engineer is what I do, it's not what I am.

I'd much rather experience things, whether that's going out finding them, or hanging out with my friends, surfing and playing guitar.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:22, closed)

This reminds me
of a line in Calvin and Hobbes where the father says-
'If I'd known being a grown up was all ad-libbed I wouldn't have been in such a hurry to grow up'.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 21:41, closed)