Once upon a time...
...during one of those gap-year trekking holidays in the 3 world where everyone wears beads...

We had just completed an exhausting saunter through thick jungle - trudging through knee-deep mud and hacking our way through the innocent carbon-swallowing vegetation with our lovely machetes. Upon arriving back in civilisation, a good hard sleep was in order. It was a particularly good sleep for the fat boy who overslept everyone else for a couple of hours and was seemingly unwakeable.

We did the obvious thing: using our stash of condoms - which we were hoarding in case we might have to walk through a jungle river (you don't want to know what sort of things might swim up what sort of places in jungle rivers) - we carefully placed the empty wrappers around the body whilst draping the unravelled rubbers across his chest, shoulders and belly. Having filled them a little with aftersun lotion (so similar to jizz in colour and consistency that they must surely use it in blockbuster films where jizz is required in the scene), we went one step further and dribbled it from his lips and eyebrow before taking a photo...

...and posting it to his mum.


And we weren't even drunk.
(dazsnow the "ever amazing" - cowjam said so once, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 17:32, 1 reply)

a better one
try shoving the filled condom up their arseholes with a pen. They will discover it in the morning.
(SPLUFFMYPANTS, Mon 17 Dec 2007, 20:12, closed)