Two For You
These are almost certainly Urban Legends but, if they didn't happen, they should have.

Case one is a student who lived in shared halls and had the irritating habit of coming home most nights pissed out of his tree. Then, rather than going to bed, he invariably passed out on the floor of the living room.

So one night, two of the other housemates arrived back from a night out and found pisshead fast asleep on his back in the living room. Seeing that they were having chicken for dinner the next day, one of the student got the giblets from the chicken and pulled the pissheads zip down and put the giblets poking out like a peeled cock. Laughing the students went to bed.

They were woken the next morning by a scream and a crash so they dashed into the living room to find the fourth housemate unconscious on the floor, the pisshead still fast asleep and the house cat sitting on the pissheads stomach munching contentedly away at the giblets.


Case Two. Again, if this hasn't happened then it should have.

A stag-do were on the piss in Amsterdam when they ended up in a Gay bar. They had fun time swapping insults with the Gay's (nothing nasty, just silly banter) when they decided that they'd had enough to drink and decided to head back to the hotel. All except one guy who, for the purpose of this story I'll call Mark.

Well Mark didn't want to go yet. He was enjoying himself with his new-found Gay friends and he elected to stay and drink himself silly. And he did. Eventually he'd drank himself into a very messy state and was given a lift to his hotel by a friendly reveller.

On getting back to the hotel he proceeded to announce his presence by being loudly sick, then singing to himself, then knock over pretty much everything that was knock-overable and, in short, make a proper Charlie of himself and, in the process, woke up all of his mates. Then he passed out face down on his bed.

Well it was just too good a chance to miss so one of the guys pulled Marks pants down, got out a condom, spat into it and then, taking a pencil, stuffed it up Marks arse leaving a little hanging out.

The next day Mark was incredibly subdued. So subdued in fact that he refused to leave the hotel room for the rest of the trip. His mates kept asking him how he'd enjoyed himself at the Gay bar and was he sure he wasn't a secret Gay himself. Mark said nothing. Just went pale.

The story goes that the group kept this up the whole weekend and didn't tell Mark until they were on the flight home.

Like I said, if it isn't true, then it should be.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 7:28, 7 replies)

I read this story verbatim, even the character's name of Mark, in an old FHM from 1996 or thereabouts.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 8:23, closed)

As regards #2...
...similar stuff does happen.

NSFW due to naked man-arse.

Apparently they used the key fob from the hotel keyring. The next day, the owner called them "animals" and threatened to throw them out.

This was because the shaving foam had soaked the bed.
( gone, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 11:29, closed)

Legless obviously reads
FHM then!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 13:23, closed)

Please.
.
FHM has never produced anything even remotely original. This tale was arund long before FHM
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 14:46, closed)

A friend of mine from school
made up a story and sent it to FHM (one about a ouija board) just to try and win the booze...sure enough they made it story of the month and sent him a crate of WKD, so the joke was on him in the end as that stuff's frankly undrinkable.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Dec 2007, 23:28, closed)

re: myths and all that
I used to own this book, at least until some bastard friend 'forgot' to return it. Loads of urban legends illustrated by different comic artist. Should help you keep on top of things. www.amazon.com/Big-Book-Urban-Legends-book/dp/1563891654
(meat_chris, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 6:17, closed)