French Student Abuse
He should be known as Fred (it was hi..blah blah etc) and we knew him at Manchester Met.
Fred was a great guy but also a pain in the arse: messy, smelly (en francais, d'accord), got the hot chicks (usually outside the pub, next to the dumpster)and played bad French D&B whilst passing out with his room door locked.

When he woke he tended to wreck houses, but first he would always ALWAYS begin the day by wandering into the kitchen scratching his nads, and then take biiiiiig swig from the 2 litre bottle of ricard..because he was soooo rock n roll.

Revenge was fourfold.

# 1/ His first curry in rusholme. fred had never eaten curry, he mistakenly says '' ah laik food with the pepperrr''

That would be a vindaloo, extra piquant Mr giggling waiter.

Result: ''You fuggink bastads ow ow my face is burnink''

#2/ same night five minutes later. ''Wat arre the Green things in your curry Mr Markov?''
They are French beans and are loverly, want some to calm your burning?
''Daccord, yes please''

Unfortunately they were the hottest green chillies....more ''you fuggin bastads etc''

#3/ Broke into his room while he was passed out and glued/stapled etc everything to the ceiling (cupboards, pc, books etc) then got all his cans and food waste and attached that by strings at head height to the ceiling.

#4/ following on from no 3 on the same morning a spare bottle of Ricard was found and filled with chip pan oil. Thru the green glass it looked like ricard.

Fred wakes up and crashes into all kinds of insane upside down shit, swears a lot in French then comes out all gallic insouciance and walks to the kitchen where everyone is sniggering... and takes a biiiiiiig swig of rock n roll chipfat.

He loved us
(markov1723 Annoying Bavarians since, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 11:07, 2 replies)

Hahaha!
This one had me laughing in the office
( Weetobix, Tue 18 Dec 2007, 15:37, closed)

That was
brilliant.
(Doctor Pubes, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 7:29, closed)