A bit off-topic, but...
On the train heading home, there was a chav girl on a mobile, regaling us all with tales of her exciting life in as loud a voice as possible. Imagine Barry Scott in female form, draped in Burberry.

She was talking about someone called Kev and what a twat he was, and, just as I was managing to blank her out, she came out with, "and then I shat meself. Yeah, I actually shat meself..."

Seeing as Burberry tracksuits can cost upwards of a tenner, that's gotta be an expensive accident.

No?
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Wed 31 Oct 2007, 18:42, 5 replies)

I over heard a similar exchange on a bus in Peterborough.
A couple of Peterborough's finest fat, semi clad teenage girls pushing rat-eyed infants in pushchairs were getting on a bus, as I passed them I heard one say to the other..

"And my cunt was just drippin' wiv 'is cum"

I fought the strong urge to vomit copiously on the street.
(Vic Flange, Wed 31 Oct 2007, 20:54, closed)

I choose to believe she was just being emphatic
The alternative is too horrible to contemplate
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Wed 31 Oct 2007, 23:00, closed)

Please...
...can someone remind me why we're not allowed to shoot people like this? I have no fucking clue.
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 9:34, closed)

I recall a similar Chav related conversation...
That I overheard on a bus.

It would appear that these three female ASBO's had been to a local brance of music shop HMV where there was a signing taking place.

For some reason, I think it was former Corrie star Adam Rickett. Anyway, the conversation on the bus went a bit like this..

'Yer, I can't believe that.'
'What?'
'Him, he looks proper lush on the telly, but did you see what he were wearin'?'
'I know, he ain't got no fasion sense has he'
'Fancy wearing trousers and a shirt'
'He ought to get himself down to JJB, I'll bet he can afford it'
'Yeah, I don't fancy 'im anymore - what was he thinking?'
'Yeah, you'd have thought that he'd have put some proper clothes on if he's doing a signing'
'yeah, you ain't wrong'
'I'll bet her can afford proper Burberry as well, mind'
'Yeah, imagine that though? Getting the proper stuff....'

You get the idea.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 9:48, closed)

I heard a great expression the other day
A school teacher friend of mind (the old-school type) was talking about some 15 y.o chav girl in one of his classes who'd become pregnant, as chavs do around that age.

He described her as "a walking advertisement for a eugenics programme".

I nearly pissed myself.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 9:53, closed)