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This is a question Faking it

Rakky writes, "We've all done it. From qualifications to orgasms, everyone likes to play 'let's pretend' once in a while."

So when have you faked it? Did you get away with it? Or were your mendacious ways exposed?

(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:16)
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Bit of a re-post this, but have it anyway :)
Many many years ago I dated a body-builder for a while (yes Clinton Hadfield, I mean you). He was a cunt, and I have no idea why I put up with him for as long as I did.

Being a body-builder, he had an ego the size of a small country. He also had a nasty prediliction for Testos Boost, which is a hormone that has many unfortunate side effects (mood swings, aggression, over-confidence), all of which he suffered from. Including the 3" cock. His sexual technique could at best be described as 'determined', and at worst like being poked repeatedly with a really tiny knitting needle.

He laboured under the illusion that he was somehow a sexual stud of legendary proportions, despite his tiny nob, and because of this subjected me to hours of the dullest sex I have ever had the misfortune to receive.

At the begining of our relationship, I was inexperienced. Then I realised that he was just shit, and gently tried to get him try different positions/techniques etc, but he got offended. I faked orgasm occasionally, just to be polite and then realised that he neither noticed, nor cared whether I came or not. I decided to spend the time doing something useful, like watching TV. This became my undoing...

During a particulary lengthy, dry and occasionally painful session, I started watching Coronation Street. He (as usual) didn't notice, and he eventually finished the job. My mate then called round for a brew, and in the course of the evening, we discussed the important plotlines of Corrie. Turns out that she missed the second half of it and desperately wanted to know what had happened. So I told her. In front of the boyfriend. Who suddenly looked very very VERY pissed off.

Ooops ;)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:57, 4 replies)
Ommmmm, that's bad.
I once described in quite accurate detail during a 'session' to me ex-missus the value of collecting WHSmith clubcard points, and the advantages of cashing in those tokens as opposed to the over-pricey bookstore specialists.

She wasn't amused.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:03, closed)
As long as you don't do what I allegedly did.
Ask girlfriend of the time why don't you like "name of some other girl I knew" supposedly while on the job.

I don't remember it at all but that's what I allegedly did.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 21:17, closed)
Ahhh
I suddenly feel so incredibly manly :D
(, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 3:51, closed)
TV
I was watching the first Gulf War (Tanks and all sorts of cool shit) whilst slipping ex-Mrs Kite a length many moons ago. I got a slap...to be fair I was on top and the TV was behind me...not subtle.
(, Sun 13 Jul 2008, 21:58, closed)

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