Chicken.
I remember when my sister was little….

She was, at the time, about 5 or 6 and was suffering with a fairly heavy cold. We’d be watching some children’s telly second-world-war period drama type thing.

Anyway, towards the end of that particular program (the Railway Children possibly?) there was a scene when some spazzy fat kid finds a bomb that’s been dropped by the Germans and not exploded. This bomb is by a railway bridge and on raising the alarm, the fat kid on the telly says to the station master ‘There’s a bomb, and it’s ticking’

That night, my sister had a nightmare and when my mum went in to see if she was okay and to ask her what had happened, she said ‘I dreamt about the ticking bomb’ – Only with her heavy cold, it sounded like ‘chicken bomb’

Since then, my mum has always and I mean ALWAYS said, whenever there is a bomb featured on the telly, ‘Is it a chicken bomb?’

This wouldn’t be so bad if she only mentioned it once in a while, to my sister. But no, she’ll recount the story time and time again to loads of uninterested visitors.

My sister is (now) married, with 3 kids of her own and is a successful accountant, she doesn’t find it as funny as my mum does.

Thinking about it, my mum has loads of daft saying that no one else cares for or finds funny. Other examples include, telling my cousin not to call their daughter Isabelle as everyone will call her ‘Is-a-bell-necessary-on-a-bike’ and not laughing when my cousin retorted with, ‘I’m not worried about that, we’ve got no intention of allowing our daughter to mingle with twats’.

Or suggesting to my friend who recently took redundancy from a role that saw him as an executive director of an international company (a position he’d held for over 8 years) and was probably on 250k a year that ‘Yell were advertising for call centre staff in the paper the other day’

Anyway, I digress. Mum, I love you dearly but your family ritual is shared only by you.

One ritual we all share though, is the 5 second rule. If a seat is left for 5 seconds (or more) it’s fair game for animal, vegetable or mineral is take it over. On more than one occasion, the two dogs have been comfortably ensconced on the sofa and people have been made to sit on the floor. (It’s against the law to move someone/dog, but bribery is allowed).

Mullered.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 11:22, 2 replies)

click
Click for ‘I’m not worried about that, we’ve got no intention of allowing our daughter to mingle with twats’
(madsporkmurderer, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 20:42, closed)

Not the Railway Children ^
. . The Machine-gunners? Late 70s/v. early 80s BBC childrens series?
(SalRossi Laughter the best medicine? Nurse, penicillin....., Tue 25 Nov 2008, 20:17, closed)