Family codes and rituals
Freddy Woo writes, "as a child we used to have a 'whoever cuts doesn't choose the slice' rule with cake. It worked brilliantly, but it's left me completely anal about dividing up food - my wife just takes the piss as I ritually compare all the slice sizes."
What codes and rituals does your family have?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:05)
Freddy Woo writes, "as a child we used to have a 'whoever cuts doesn't choose the slice' rule with cake. It worked brilliantly, but it's left me completely anal about dividing up food - my wife just takes the piss as I ritually compare all the slice sizes."
What codes and rituals does your family have?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:05)
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Fuckarma has just reminded me…
When my wife tucks my flake-lets into bed, she tells them it’s: ‘Time for beddy bye-byes’
…Well, that’s what she used to say anyway. Over time, and with an effort to speed up the phrase to make it more efficient, she now quickly says ‘Time for Bob-Eyes’
Which, when you think about it, is actually quite a sinister statement. I mean what does this imply?
‘Come along kiddies, it’s late…now remove your own eyes, (possibly without anesthetic), and have them replaced with the optical receptors from some total stranger called Bob?’
And what say does poor Bob have in this? Why would he sacrifice himself to donate his corneas etc just so my kids could temporarily swap them over…and not even for general usage, no…but for when they go to sleep…and therefore won’t even be using the eyes?
And what about tomorrow? Is there an endless supply of Bobs in the world prepared to give up their potential lifetime of healthy vision in a gruesome transformation operation every single night? And why has nobody considered the timescale and logistics!
No wonder the kids don’t want to go to bed.
( , Fri 21 Nov 2008, 14:56, 3 replies)
When my wife tucks my flake-lets into bed, she tells them it’s: ‘Time for beddy bye-byes’
…Well, that’s what she used to say anyway. Over time, and with an effort to speed up the phrase to make it more efficient, she now quickly says ‘Time for Bob-Eyes’
Which, when you think about it, is actually quite a sinister statement. I mean what does this imply?
‘Come along kiddies, it’s late…now remove your own eyes, (possibly without anesthetic), and have them replaced with the optical receptors from some total stranger called Bob?’
And what say does poor Bob have in this? Why would he sacrifice himself to donate his corneas etc just so my kids could temporarily swap them over…and not even for general usage, no…but for when they go to sleep…and therefore won’t even be using the eyes?
And what about tomorrow? Is there an endless supply of Bobs in the world prepared to give up their potential lifetime of healthy vision in a gruesome transformation operation every single night? And why has nobody considered the timescale and logistics!
No wonder the kids don’t want to go to bed.
( , Fri 21 Nov 2008, 14:56, 3 replies)
It could be implying
that your children just need to squint smarmily, thusly doing a 'Bob' Monkhouse impersonation?
( , Fri 21 Nov 2008, 15:15, closed)
that your children just need to squint smarmily, thusly doing a 'Bob' Monkhouse impersonation?
( , Fri 21 Nov 2008, 15:15, closed)
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