The most overrated episode of being star struck
It was the late nineties and I had only recently become an adult. So much so that the wallet in my pocket wasn't like the leather Pierre Cardin one I have today but rather a blue nylon velcro thing with St Johnstone logos plastered all over it.

For my sins I am a fan of Perth's finest: St Johnstone Football Club. After missing promotion by one or two places for the last 4 years it looks like, fingers crossed, we're finally going to be promoted back to the SPL this year.

But back in the late nineties though St Johnstone were a different proposition. We weren't just an SPL team, we were a very successful SPL team. One season we finished third behind Rangers and Celtic the highest position possible for a true Scottish football club and we were briefly in the UEFA cup before being knocked out by the mighty French team Monaco.

As reward for an impressive run in the Scottish Cup, the team were sent for a relaxing couple of days to the luxurious 5-star Old Course Hotel in St Andrews to enjoy the home of golf. For me though St Andrews was a much simpler place, it was where I went to uni and it was where I worked in a small convenience store in the town centre open until 11 at night.

It was an evening as any other working the Thursday shift until a group of loud, jokey guys got to the front of the queue.

You know that look you have when you see someone and you're in shock? Your face goes numb and you find it hard to move your mouth to make coherent sentences. That happened to me. I was face to face with Roddy Grant.

I simply couldn't speak and yet there was Roddy and Callum Davidson and a few others I didn't recognise all laughing, joking and asking me questions and making insults against each other to me. What a great bunch of guys. Notable purchases were a cheap 2L bottle of lemonade, a couple of porn mags and 20 Marlboro Lights *tsk tsk* no wonder they lost to the Hun in the semis.

By the time they'd paid for their purchases and were about to leave I'd nearly recovered my powers of communication.

"Wait. I mean, er, could you...?"

I reached in my pocket for the St Johnstone wallet. How precious and valuable would that little velcro item be after having been signed by all those players, especially the legend that was Roddy Grant? But it wasn't there! Of course not, I'd left it in the staff room where it had to be kept on company orders.

"Nothing, erm bye."

To this day I still regret not even wishing them good luck in their cup tie or at the very least telling them I was a Saints fan. God knows what kind of wreck I'd be if I ever bumped into Chris Morris, Jerry Cantrell, Vince Clarke, Andy Bell, Martin L. Gore or the ludicrously talented Wendy Hurrell. Curse her, leaving East Anglia to go to London *shakes fist*
( djtrialprice, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 23:16, 12 replies)

Ha!
Great post - there's something weird about meeting footballers who aren't, how can I put this, international super-fucking-megastars like Ronaldo and all those other ponces. I've seen a few Coventry City players over the years and gone a bit weak at the knees - most people wouldn't even know who the fuck they were.

Great post, mate. Especially what you said to these Gods of the fair game as they were leaving. Ha!
( SpankyHanky, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 23:32, closed)

Cheers mate
In madness it doesn't feel so bad if you're not alone
( djtrialprice, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 0:43, closed)

Vince Clark played for the Saints?
Bloody hell ...
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 23:32, closed)

Yeah
We've got Phil Oakey on the wing and Chris Lowe at centre back too.
( djtrialprice, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 0:44, closed)

Old-skool Saintees
Stuart Beedie was our postie.
(SirJonDangerous and his pony-sized bumblebee, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 13:55, closed)

I was a lot younger
but I went to the monaco game when that was on. It was great seeing all of the saints fans laying into barthez in goal and him getting very angry and shouting back at them. Shame they lost
( vigilante_18 WHO SENT ALL THESE BABIES TO FIGHT?!?!, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 21:58, closed)