Festival Food
Sat on the floor, dusk fast approaching, thinking I'm the King of Spain on account of having far too much sun and Tuborg during the previous twelve hours or so. I'm starving and so's my mate Sean. But the food stalls are either closed, closing, or out of grub. Shit!

Resigned to being hungry, I find a nice quiet spot that isnt soaked in piss and sit down. I quaff my pint, being extra careful not to crack the cheap plastic and cover my cock in lukewarm beer.

Sean fucks off for a bit and comes back with a big plate of chicken noodles with sweetcorn. He explains he's already eaten half and that the rest is for me. Dancing about like a twat under some weird voodoo curse makes you hungry as hell, so I quickly start wolfing the food down.

Then something occurs to me. We tried the noodle stall about half an hour ago and it was very definately shut. "Err, Sean - where the fuck did you buy this?" I ask.

Sean looks a bit confused. "I didn't buy it..."

I keep eating. I am officially more hungry than an anorexic Ethiopian. Then Sean adds: "I found it.... Over there...." and he points.

I follow his finger to an overflowing dustbin full of various stinky crap and buzzing with flies. "Don't worry, though," Sean says. "It was right on top.... I scraped off all the non-edible stuff..."


Cunt...

EDIT: Still ate it though. Tasted good, it just contained weird little crunchy bits that exploded when you bit into them. Thinking about it, they were probably teeny-tiny maggots.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:08, 4 replies)

nom nom vom
if its good enough for tramps, then its good enough for a spanked spanky
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:12, closed)

Mmmmm mmm mmmm
Finger lickin' good
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:16, closed)

MMMMM MMMMMM
Did they taste like chicken? Everything tastes like chicken!
(Freddie Gonads, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:19, closed)

Even used plasters

(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:20, closed)