Skinhead in a kebab shop
Many years ago I decided to give up on cooking for an evening and go out for some local cuisine. Living in Hull at the time this meant a £2.90 Kebab shop pizza. While waiting for it to be cooked the pub next door began the process of chucking out in doing so filling the kebab shop. In stumbles a massive guy complete with #1 haircut and short skirted blonde girlfriend.

After about a minute it dawns on me that he is staring right at me, in the process accidently locking eyes for a moment.

I quickly look away and begin looking at the menu with intent. I glance back and he is still staring right at me. Worse still he begins to come towards me. My heart is racing, having never been in a fight as an adult, waiting for the slurred "What are you looking at?"

After what seems like forever he stares me down and come out with the immortal line

"Excuse me but you have the most piercing green eyes"

What can I say, I guess pants shitting terror really brings them out. He gave me a chip and I mumbled a thanks and hurried home with my pizza.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 15:37, 4 replies)

Didn't you realise
That he wanted to kiss you?

You missed a trick there - you cud hav bin his bitch, innit....
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 15:39, closed)

^this
he wanted to give you more than a chip
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 15:50, closed)

^This
he wanted to give you his sausage.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 16:21, closed)

This is funny because Vaggers is using the sausage=penis trope due to their similarity in shape.

(McChinaman banned, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 23:55, closed)