Shouldn't have gone to Spacesavers
A good few years ago I went to the funeral of H, I girl I had known through work. Lovely girl, v good-looking, v fit and only recently-married when, at the age of 29, she had a heart attack in her sleep and her poor husband woke up to find her dead in bed next to him. The funeral was as sad as funerals often are for those who haven’t had the chance to live a full life. Lots of mourners at the graveside, lots and lots of tears as the coffin was lowered slowly into the grave – and came to a halt halfway down.

One of H’s peculiar characteristics was that she had v broad shoulders – you would think she worked out if you didn’t know her. I remembered some talk of having to have a coffin especially made for this reason but hadn’t thought much about it. Sadly, though, no-one had thought to tell the council grave-diggers who hadn’t dug the grave wide enough and who were now scratching their heads. Wondering what to do. It was made even worse by the fact they couldn’t pull the coffin back out, either – it was well and truly stuck.
It all got a bit heated – poor husband walking round in circles, muttering to himself – as if things weren’t bad enough already. Lots of talk about how shameful, disgraceful and undignified it was, how those responsible should be strung up (at least they were in the right place for it). Tempers and emotions were running understandably high and it nearly turned into a mini-riot. All we could do was leave the grave-diggers to sort it out, so we all trooped off to the wake.

I was one of the last to leave and I swear, when I turned to look back from the gates, I saw one of the diggers jump up and down on the coffin to tray and force it into the grave. Fucking bizarre, but I always thought that H would have seen the funny side of it all. It was as if she was determined not to go without raging against the dying of the light in some small way.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sun 14 Apr 2013, 11:56, 2 replies)

This doesn't have a ring of truth to it.
Coffins are cranked out on assembly lines to standard sizes. They have ways of making you fit.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 1:38, closed)

coffin would not go down
Oh yes it does happen. I went to one funeral and as they lowered the coffin they realized the grave was not wide enough. Fortunately it did not actually get wedged in the hole and they managed to lift it out again, but it meant we all had to go back in the church for half an hour or so while they found someone with a spade to widen the grave a bit!
(Mackeson_drinker, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 7:57, closed)